Social scientists have found that there is often an inverse relationship between what we do in our spare time and what we find satisfying and fun. That is to say, many of us get involved in leisure pastimes we dont especially like, and conversely, neglect doing those things we enjoy most.
A client will typically tell me that they love a particular activity such as playing the piano, going to the theatre or swimming, only to find that they havent been near a piano since childhood and only rarely attend plays or go swimming. On the other hand, they are regularly going to the movies, watching television and attending social functions that do little more than give them a headache.
Reasons why will vary. Sometimes we have simply gotten into a routine and not given much thought or energy to changing it. We may fail to consider all the options that are available and be falling back on old standbys even though they are providing us with only minimal satisfaction.
At other times, we let ourselves get caught up in popular activities and fads that are totally wrong for us. As a runner, Im frequently asked if I recommend jogging to my clients. The answer is, it depends entirely on the person. Whats right for one person isnt always best for another. There are far too many exciting, fun pastimes available to spend time suffering through something thats a grind.
Try Something New. On the other hand, we dont always know how much we might like a particular sport or activity until we try it out. Your enjoyment of any given game or endeavor will tend to increase along with your level of skill.
As you become more proficient at tennis, the game starts being fun. When you dare to run in your first 10 km race and discover that you can actually finish and not come in last, jogging suddenly takes on new meaning. Your first attempt at learning to use all the features of your new computer can well be frustrating until you get the hang of it. Then, the next thing you know, youre a computer buff.
Do an Assessment List. To assess how closely your leisure pastimes align with your likes and dislikes, take a look at how youre presently spending the bulk of your time. A good way to begin is by making two lists. On the first, write down all the activities youre involved in now and that you truly enjoy.
On a second list, jot down anything youre doing that is providing you with little pleasure or value. Examples could be: time spent chairing a committee for which you reluctantly agreed, aimless conversations on the telephone, reading the newspaper, wasted shopping time, or playing bridge due to pressures from your mate.
Now ask yourself how the total amount of your spare time is distributed between the two lists? What proportion of your time is consumed by activities you dislike or feel so-so about relative to those you enjoy and that enhance your life?
Mindstorm. Next, use your imagination and consider some of the things that youd like to be doing, but arent. Over the years, what has especially sparked your interest? Maybe its a hobby you had back in high school and would still enjoy but have neglected over the years. Do a little mindstorming. What strikes your fancy? Most of us have something weve always wanted to try but never gotten around to actually doing.
Examine your interests in different creative endeavors. Would you like to build a web site, perform at a local playhouse, paint, sing karaoke, take dance lessons, make a CD? If youre athletically inclined, accomplishing a challenging physical feat can be a source of pleasure: swimming a mile, finishing a triathlon, even sky diving or hang gliding. Take advantage of the many water sports available: wind surfing, canoeing, kayaking.
Time is your most valuable resource. Set aside a few minutes now to reflect on how your leisure measures up in meeting your needs and adding more zest and enjoyment to your life.
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