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BRIDGET. Ill have to measure you then




What size?

 

HECTOR

Eh?

 

BRIDGET

What size.

 

HECTOR

I dont know.

 

BRIDGET

Ill have to measure you then.

Arms up please.

 

HECTOR

Eh?

 

ANNIE

Arms up, please.

 

HECTOR

Oh, arms up, please.

 

BRIDGET

Chest.

Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres!

 

ANNIE

Chest, one hundred and twelve centimetres.

 

BRIDGET

And waist.

Eighty two centimetres.

 

ANNIE

Waist, eighty two centimetres.

 

BRIDGET

And l-e-g!! [laughs]

 

NICK

Ill do that!

 

BRIDGET

No, its OK!

 

NICK

[Clears throat]

Eight-ty seven centimetres!

 

BRIDGET

Now, do you like these trousers?

 

ANNIE

Do you like this shirt?

 

HECTOR

Ye-es.

 

BRIDGET

Good, thats [erm]

Five thousand pounds.

 

HECTOR

OK.

 

ANNIE

No, no, no Hector.

Five thousand pounds is, is eight thousand dollars!

 

HECTOR

Yeah.

 

BRIDGET

Its too much, its too expensive.

 

NICK

Not for Hector!

 

HECTOR

So, I am ready to go shopping!

Ha ha!

 

ANNIE

Good luck.

 

BRIDGET

Yeah, good luck.

 

NICK

Youll need it!

 

BRIDGET & ANNIE

[Sneezing]

 

BRIDGET

Wheres my lemon drink, Nick?

 

ANNIE

Nick, are there any more tissues?

 

NICK

All right, Im coming as fast as I can!

OK.

 

ANNIE

Oh, I feel awful.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, me too.

Nothing will make me feel better.

 

Sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

Oh, can you get that please Nick?

 

NICK

Oh, its only Hector.

 

HECTOR

Well, is it cool?

 

NICK

Wow, man! Well done!

You look great!

 

HECTOR

I would like a shirt, please.

 

BRIDGET

Excellent!

Oh the clothes are super!

 

HECTOR

And a pair of trou-sers.

 

ANNIE

Oh, you are clever, Hector!

 

HECTOR

And a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs]

I have been shopping!

 

Sound of intercom

 

BRIDGET

Oh, Ill get it.

Hello.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Its me.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, hello.

Its the tarantula!

How are you?

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Fine, thank you.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, good, good.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Hows your cold?

 

BRIDGET

Hows my cold?

Well how did you know I have a cold?

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

You told me this morning.

 

HECTOR

Me, I am Bridget.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

I dont believe you.

 

HECTOR

Yes, I have a cold. [Sneezes]

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Oh, Im sorry.

 

HECTOR

Thank you.

[Sneezes]

 

BRIDGET

Yes, silly me!

I told you this morning.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie?

 

BRIDGET

Pardon?

I dont know.

Well, how strange!

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Four hundred tins.

 

BRIDGET

Yes, thats a lot of tins.

Well I really dont know.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]

Can you ask Annie?

 

BRIDGET

Yes, Ill ask Annie, goodbye.

The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs?

 

ANNIE

Four hundred tins?

 





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