SHORT STORIES
At the shop
mother: I sent my little boy for two pounds of apples and you sent only a pound and a half.
shopkeeper: My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your little boy?
a shopkeeper
a pound (, = 454 )
scales
to weigh [wei]
Johnny's grammar
Voice on phone: Are your father and mother at home? little johnny: They was, but they isn't now. voice: They was, but they isn't? Where's your grammar!
Johnny: She is out too.
grammar ['graema] grandma ['graenma:]
First time at school
Emily had been to school for the first time. Well, darling, what did you learn? asked her mother. Nothing, sighed Emily hopelessly. I've got to go back again tomorrow.
failure to sigh Emily ['emili] hopelessly darling , - I've got to...
An unexpected answer
teacher: what do elephants have that no other animals have?
pupil: Little elephants.
unexpected an elephant
Sleeping in summer
The teacher told the pupils about the bear sleeping in winter. After explaining it to the children, she said:
Can anyone tell me of any other animal that sleeps in winter?
A little boy's hand went up, and the teacher said: Well, Peter, you may tell us of one.
Santa Claus, said Tommy, only he does it in the summertime.
He knew it
The teacher of geography was trying to teach a small boy the points of the compass.
He explained: On your right is the East, your left is the West, and in front of you is the North. Now what is behind you?
The boy thought a moment, and then cried: I knew it. I told Mother you would see the patch on my pants.
geography
the points of the compass
would see
a patch
pants [pasnts] .
An unusual answer
The grocer was busy serving customers but he noticed, x small boy standing near an open box of sweet biscuits. Well, my boy, said the grocer, What are you up to? Nothing.
Nothing? Well, it looks as if you were trying to take a biscuit.
You are wrong, mister. I'm trying not to.
to notice ['noutis]
biscuits
a grocer
what are you up to? ?
to serve
a customer
it looks as if you were trying... ...
How raise children
Daddy, do you think Mother knows how to raise children?
What makes you ask that?
Well, she makes me go to bed when I'm wide awakeand she makes me get up when I am awfully sleepy!
to raise [reiz] :
I'm wide awake
daddy
awfully sleepy
The twins
Two brothers were twins. It was bathing time and from the twins' bedroom came sounds of laughter and loud crying. Their father went up to find out the cause. What's the matter up here? he asked. The laughing twin pointed to his crying brother. Nothing, he giggled, only Nurse has given him two baths and hasn't given me any at all.
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lucky ,
cause
twins
to point (to) ()
bathing time
to giggle
a sound
Nurse
laughter
to give a bath
loud crying
at all
He khew another word
Bob: Have you noticed that in the English language there is only one word in which su at the beginning of the word are pronounced as [Ju]?
Bill: Really? What is the word?
Bob: Sugar,
Bill: Are you sure?
to pronounce [pranauns] really? : ?
I, myself and me
I gave a little party this afternoon at three;
It was very small,
Three guests in all
Just I, myself, and me.
Myself ate up the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea,
And it was I
Who ate the pie
And passed the cake te me.
myself ()
a sandwich
a party
a pie
a guest
to pass
The professor could not answer it
Old Mr. Hampton is a very clever man. He has a lot of degrees. Yet the other day he could not answer his granddaughter's question.
Grandpa, she said, I saw something so funny running across the kitchen floor without any legs. What do you think it was?
Grandpa thought and thought, but at last he had to give it up. What was it? he asked. Water, replied the little girl triumphantly.
a degree
to give up , -
the other day
across
triumphantly
He kept the promise
Mother, asked Billy after his birthday party, May I have a piece of cake, only a small piece, please?
No, replied his mother, you've had quite enough.
Well, may I sleep with a bit under my pillow? asked the boy.
Very well, here you are, and remember to keep it under your pillow. Now run along to bed.
When she came to Billy's room some time later, she saw Billy sleeping peacefully with the pillow over his stomach.
promise
here yon are
to keep (kept, kept)
a bit
a stomach
a pillow
Cheering up
MOTHER (in a low voice): Jimmy, your grandfather is very sick. Can't you say something nice to cheer him up a bit?
JIMMY: Grandfather, wouldn't you like to have soldiers at your funeral?
to cheer up
wouldn't you like... ...
to be sick
a bit funeral
was punished
Doctor, called the small boy, come up to our iouse quick.
Who is sick at your house? asked the doctor.
Everybody but me. I had been naughty, so they didn't give me any of the nice mushrooms that Daddy had picked in the forest. reward
naughty ,
virtue
but :
a mushroom
to pick
A substitute
Over the doctor's telephone came a call from a man who said that his small son had swallowed his pen. -
The doctor said: I'll come at once. What are you doing in the meantime?
I'm using my pencil, the man answered.
a substitute
a call
to swallow
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in the meantime
There is nothing to worry about.
MISTRESS: Did my son get in any trouble while I was out?
MAID: Nothing, except that he swallowed a bug, but I gave him some of that insect powder at once, so there's nothing to worry about, Madam.
to worry a mistress a maid to get in(to) trouble while ,
except [ik/sept] ()..., ()... a bug insect powder
What can Johnny do?
Mother sent Johnny and the baby into the garden to play, but it was not long before she heard cries.
Johnny, what is the matter with the baby, now? she asked from the kitchen.
I don't know what to do with him, Mother, answered John. He has dug a hole and he wants to bring it into the house.
a cry
A bicycle
Parents gave their son a bicycle and were watching proudly as he rode around and around the block.
On his first round he shouted: Look, Mom, no hands.
The second time around: Look, Mom, no feet.
At the third time: Look, Mom, no teeth.a block
on his first round around Mom
Leading questions
Billy, said the teacher, what does c-a-t spell?
Don't know, sir, said Billy.
What does your mother keep to catch mice?
A trap, sir.
No, no. What animal is very fond of milk?
Thebaby, sir.
You stupid! What was it that scratched your sister's face?
My nails, sir.
I am out of patience. There, do you see that animal in the yard? Then tell me, what does c-a-t spell?
Kitten, sir.
leading : stupid
what does c-a-t spell? c-a-t?
to scratch nails patience a trap
Following the advice
The teacher stood with his back to the fireplace on a winter morning. He decided to give good advice to the pupils before starting the lesson.
Before you speak, think. Count fifty before you say anything important a hundred, if it is very important.
The lips of his pupils began moving in unison, and suddenly they cried loudly: Ninety-nine, one hundred! Your coat tails are on fire, sir!
to follow
advice
a fireplace
to count
coat tails ,
in unison
are on fire
Pass it!
Boss: (sending the office boy on an errand). On the way you'll pass a baseball park. Boy: Yes, sir. Boss: Well, pass it!
a boss
an office boy
on an errand
a baseball
to pass
Its favourite dish
For sale: a bulldog two years old. Will eat anything. Very fond of children.
for sale anything : bulldog ['buldog]
A fine room
Landlady: How do you like the room as a whole? Visitor: As a hole it's fine; as a room, not so good.
a landlady as a whole a hole
He did not want it
An old cowboy went to the city and stopped at a hotel for the first time in his life. The clerk asked him if he wanted a room with running water.
No, the cowboy said. What do you think I am, a trout?
a cowboy ['kauboi]
a hotel
a clerk [kla:k]
running water 1) ; 2)
a trout
He did his duty
John became a policeman. On the very first day his lieutenant told him, John, I am giving you an easy-beat to start withjust from the station house to that red light and back. John disappeared for two days.
Where the devil were you? shouted the lieutenant when John came back. Didn't I tell you your beat was just from here to that red light?
You did, but that red light was on the back of a car.
duty
a station house ()
a lieutenant [lef tenant]
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to disappear
a beat ()
to start with
the devil ['devl] :
Over the fields
The train came to a sudden stop. All the passengers jumped up.
What has happened, conductor? cried a nervous old woman.
Nothing much, we ran over a cow.
Was it on the track?
No, replied the conductor, we chased it into a barn.
nervous a track , to run over , to chase , a barn ,
He wanted a horse
CUSTOMER: Can I rent a horse? GROOM: How long do you want it? CUSTOMER: As long a one as you have, laddie. There are five of us.
a customer
a groom
how long 1) ; 2)
to rent
a laddie
A pleasant night
Mr. Brown, a travelling man, was a very light sleeper. One night he stopped at a small hotel, and after some time he got into a sound sleep. Suddenly he heard some loud knocks on his door and nervously sat up in bed.
What is the matter?* he asked,
Package downstairs for you, sir.
Well, let it stay there: it can wait till morning, I think.
Theboy went down the corridor, and after a long time the guest fell into a sound sleep again. Then another knock came at the door.
Well, what is up now?, asked Mr. Brown.
It is not for you, that package, said the boy.
a light sleeper ,
to get (fall) into a sleep
sound :
loud
a knock
nervously
a package
downstairs
a guest [gest]
What is up? ?
A wonderful talker
A sailor walked into an auction shop as the auctioneer was asking for bids on a parrot. Fifteen dollars, said the sailor.
Twenty, said another bidder.
Twenty-five, said the sailor.
Forty, said the other bidder.
Forty-live, said the sailor. No further bids were heard, and the auctioneer said, Sold.
The sailor took the bird and the cage, gave the money, and said: I have paid a l&t of money for the parrot. Can he talk?
Can he talk? said the auctioneer- Why,, sailor, he was bidding against you.
wonderful
a sailor
an auction ,,
a bid
a parrot
further
a cage
to bid (bid, bid) against
He confirmed it
Big boaster: Yes, when I was in Africa I met a lion, t had no gun in my hand, so I took a pail of water and poured it over his head, and he ran away.
Listener: I can confirm that. I was in Africa at that time, and the lion ran into me, and when, I stroked him he was still quite wet.
to confirm
a boaster
a lion
a pail
to pour
to run into...
to stroke
LAZY JIM
Once upon a time there was a boy whose name was Jim and he lived with his mother in a little cottage.
They were very poor and the old woman had to work from early morning till late at night. She was a washerwoman.
Her son Jim was so lazy that he didn 't want to work at all. He only lay in the sun in hot weather and sat by the fire in the winter time. So they called him Lazy Jim. His mother couldn't make him work. At last she got angry and said to him one Monday:
Look here, Jim. You are a big fellow. You are very strong and can work for your living, I am old and I don't feel well. You must begin to work, or I shall turn you out of the house. Everybody says it is a shame that I must work for you day and night.
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Jim sighed and said nothing. What could he say? He had to begin to work for his living and help his mother. There was no other way out for him.
So next morning, it was Tuesday, he went to a farmer, worked all day and got a penny. But to have money was an unusual thing for Lazy Jim. He didn't know where to put it and lost his penny on his way home.
You silly, said his mother, how could you lose your money? Why didn't you put it in your pocket? I'll do so another time, answered Jim. On Wednesday Jim went to the farmer again. This time the farmer gave him a jug of milk for his day's work. Jim put the jug of milk in his big pocket and, of course, there was no milk in the jug when he came home.
Dear me! said the old woman. What a silly boy you are! Why didn't you put it on your head? I'll do so another time, said Jim.
Now, on Thursday he got from the farmer a large pat of butter for his day's work. He immediately put the piece of butter on his head and well, you can imagine what happened!
When he came home and didn't bring anything again, his mother got very angry.
What a misfortune it is to have such a silly son! she said. Why didn't you carry it carefully in your hands? I'll do so another time, answered Jim.
Jim was tired of his work for the farmer, so on Friday he went to a baker. The baker didn't give him anything for his work but a big cat. Jim took the cat very carefuh ly in his hands and started on his way home. But the cat didn't want to go with Jim at all. In a short time it scratched him so badly that he had to let it go. When he came home, his mother was terribly angry again.
Oh, what shall I do with you, you silly boy! Why couldn't you tie the cat with a string and pull it after you? she said. I'll do so another time, said Jim.
On Saturday, Jim went to a butcher, who gave him a leg of mutton for his day's work. Jim tied the leg of mutton with a string and pulled it after him along the dirty road. You can imagine how it looked when he came home. Of course nobody could eat it. This time his mother was very sad.
Oh, dear, oh, dear! she cried. I am the most unhappy woman in the world! My sun can't do anything properly. You big silly, why didn't you carry the leg of mutton on your shoulder?
I'll do so another time, answered Jim. On Monday, Jim worked for a miller and the miller gave him a donkey! It was rather difficult for Jim to lift the donkey on to his shoulders. He tried very hard. At last the donkey was on his shoulders and Jim was greatly pleased. He started on his way home and walked very slowly because the donkey was heavy.
On his way he passed the house of a rich man, who had a beautiful daughter. This man was very unhappy. His only daughter could neither hear nor speak. And the young girl never laughed in her life. When her father asked the doctors* advice, all the doctors said:
She will neither hear nor speak till somebody makes her laugh.
Now it happened that the poor girl was at her window when Jim went slowly by with the donkey on his shoulders. He looked so strange and so funny that the girl burst out laughing. From that moment she could hear and speak. She asked Jim to stop at her window for a moment because she wanted to thank him. Jim complained of his life.
I am very unhappy, he said, because I can't do anything properly.
The girl listened to him, and was very sorry for him. The young people liked each other at first sight. And the father of the beautiful girl was so delighted that he decided to marry his daughter to Jim. Jim's wife was not only beautiful, she was very kind too. She asked Jim's mother to live together with them, and the old woman did not have to work so hard any more. Jim's wife was not only beautiful and kind, she was very clever too. She gave Jim good advice and he learned to do everything properly. They lived happily for many, many long years, and nobody called Jim lazy any more.
PICKWICK PAPERS
(After Charles Dickens)
On a sunny morning of the thirteenth of May, one thousand eight hundred and twenty-seven Mr. Samuel Pickwick rose from his bed, opened the window and looked out at the world before him. Goswell Street was at his feet, Goswell Street was on his right, Goswell Street was on his left, Goswell Street lay in front of him. Mr. Pickwick was not happy to see only Goswell Street. He wanted to see life in other places surrounding the street. Soon after breakfast Mr. Pickwick with a bag in his hand, a telescope and a note-book in his pocket was ready to meet adventures. He took a cab and went to Golden Cross, an inn where his friends were waiting for him. On the way there Mr. Pickwick began his studies of London life.
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How old is that horse, my friend? asked he. Forty-two, answered the cabman. What,' said Mr. Pickwick laying his hand upon the note-book. The cabman repeated the answer and Mr. Pickwick wrote it down in his note-Ibook. And how long do you keep him out at a time?. Two or three weeks, answered the cabman. Weeks! [said Mr. Pickwick in surprise and he took out his note-|book again. We seldom take him out of the cab, said the cabman. He is old, not very strong, and always falls down /hen we take him out of it. So we tie him to the cab, the cab runs after him and pushes him. Mr. Pickwick wrote lown every word told by the cabman in his note-book. He ranted to use the information at a club meeting.
THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER
In the old city of London on a cold autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty. The family did not want this boy.
On the same day another English child was born. He was born to a rich family of the name of Tudor, who wanted him very much. All England wanted him. People talked only about the new baby, Edward Tudor, Prince of Wales who lay in silk and did not know that all England wanted him so much.
But there was no talk about the other baby, Tom Canty, who lay in his dirty rags and did not know that nobody wanted him.
A few years passed. London was fifteen hundred years old and was a great town.
The street where Tom's family lived was not far from London Bridge and was called Offal Court. It was dirty, and the houses were of wood, with small windows. Can-ty's family lived in one room on the third floor of one of these houses. The mother and the father had a bed, but Tom, his grandmother, and his two sisters, Bet and Nan slept on the floor and covered themselves with rags.
Bet and Nan were fifteen years old. They were twins. They were always dirty and in rags, but they were kind-hearted girls. Their mother was like them. But the father and the grandmother were very bad people. They often got drunk and then they fought each other and beat the children.
Tom's father, John Canty, was a thief, and Tom's grandmother was a beggar, and they made the children beg.
Every day Tom went out to beg in the streets. If nobody gave him any money, his father and grandmother beat him at night and sent him to bed hungry.
But there were some good things in Tom's life. Among the people that lived in the house there was a kind old man who taught Tom a little Latin and how to read and write. He also told him many stories about kings and princes. Tom liked to listen to his stories. He also read the books that the old man gave him.
Tom was a clever boy, he knew so much! And he could do and say such interesting things! When the children played, Tom was always a prince and the boys were lords of his court.
At night when he lay in the dark on his dirty rags, he forgot his hunger and his father's beatings. He thought about kings and princes, who were clean and well dressed and lived in beautiful palaces. Tom wanted to be clean and well dressed too. But in the morning he had to go out in his rags to beg. At night he dreamed that he lived in a palace among lords and ladies. Oh, how he wanted to see a real prince with his own eyes! This wish became stronger and stronger day by day and at last he could think of nothing else.
TREASURE ISLAND
Squire Trelawney, Dr. Livesey and the rest of them have asked me to write down the whole story of Treasure Island from the beginning to the end. I take up my pen in the year 17... and go back to the time when my father kept the Admiral Benbow inn and the old seaman first came under our roof.
I remember him as if it were yesterday, a tall, strong, heavy man, with black, broken nails and a cut across one cheek. I remember him singing the old sea-song: Fifteen men on the dead man's chest, Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
I remember how he asked for a glass of rum from my father when he first came and how he slowly drank it.
This is a fine house, he said, and not a bad grogshop. Is there much company here? My father told him there was very little company. Well then, he said, this is a good place for me. I'll stay here a bit, he continued. I'm a plain man. Rum and bacon and eggs is what I want. How can you call me? You can call me captain.
He was badly dressed, but he did not look like a common sailor; he seemed more like a mate or skipper. Then he took three or four gold pieces from a big sea chest which he had and threw them to my father. You can tell me when you have finished with that, said he to my father.
