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Ex. 2. Listen to the tape again and complete these extracts




1. Good writing needs to be as …….. as possible so that the reader can easily …….. sentences, ideas and details.

2. One of the most important aspects is to show the …….. and …….. between ideas.

3. Using …….. types of words and phrases, known as ‘........’, to link …….. sentences and …….. of sentences, helps the reader to follow the …….. …. ……..without any difficulty.

4. They help the writing to flow …….., without unnecessary ……...

Ex. 3. Read two passages aloud. Place a checkmark (√) on the line if the phrase describes the passage. The first one is done for you.

Passage A Passage B

Choppy/Basic …... …... …………

Fluent/Complex …………. …………

Weak control of pronouns …………. …………

Effective control of pronouns …………. …………

Unclear audience …………. …………

Clear audience …………. …………

Excessive repetition …………. …………

Effective repetition …………. …………

 

One Benefit of Travel

Passage A

First of all, travel will enable people to take a break. People always have a lot of work to do. Hard work and pressure make you feel tired and uncomfortable. We are not working machines. They need time to take breaks. Travel will enable you to relax. Also, travel will energize people to work better, especially computer programmers. They use their brains a lot every day. After a long time, they may become slow-witted. Under such a condition, you cannot work effectively. We need to find a place for a vacation. You need to see natural phenomena, instead of looking at computers all day. They will get energy from nature and then come back to work much more efficiently than before. I have experience with this. I have been to Buffalo. I saw a wonderful sight there. I saw Niagara Falls. I looked up at it. It seemed to fall from the sky. It was very beautiful. You could feel the power coming from the falls. You were inspired to do your work [173 words].

Passage B

First of all, travel will enable people to take a break. Because people always have a lot of work to do, sometimes hard work and pressure make them feel tired and uncomfortable. People are not working machines. Therefore, they need time to take breaks, and travel will enable them to relax. Also, travel will energize people to work better, especially computer programmers, who use their brains a lot every day. After a long time, they may become slow-witted. Under such a condition, they cannot work effectively, so they need to find a place for a vacation where they can see natural phenomena instead of looking at computers all day. They will get energy from nature and then come back to work much more efficiently than before. For example, travel helped me overcome burnout. To relax from my stressful job as a computer programmer, I went to Buffalo, where I saw a wonderful sight, Niagara Falls. When I looked up at the falls, the gushing water seemed to fall from the sky, and I could feel its power. The sight was so beautiful that I was more inspired to do my work [191 words].

(Adapted with permission, Yunhai Yang, Taiwanese)

Introduction

Coherence

Upon comparing the above two passages, you probably discovered that you preferred the second passage because it sounded smoother; that is, the ideas seemed to flow together well. The first passage has a very good progression from general to specific, yet there is only one idea in many of the sentences, causing the passage to sound choppy. Moreover, the control of point of view and pronouns is weak, causing confusion about who the audience is. The revision, however, shows more complexity in that the ideas are organized into complex and compound-complex sentences, creating a smoother flow of ideas from one sentence to another. As a result, the second passage is easier to understand at both the general and specific levels. Moreover, the relevance of the example is enhanced with improvement in vocabulary use. The control of pronouns and point of view and the repetition of key content words reinforce the writer's opinion about travel, making the example more relevant.

This book will provide practice with coherence devices to teach you how to make your writing sound fluent and cohesive. Learning effective coherence devices will enable you to improve your writing at both the sentence and paragraph levels.

"To cohere" means "to stick together"; "to be connected naturally or logically, by a common principle; to be consistent"; and "to become or stay united in action; to be in accord." Effective English writing is coherent; that is, the sentences follow each other smoothly and logically. In addition, the relationships between the ideas in the composition are clear to the reader. For example, the reader is able to locate the main ideas and sort out the examples. The time relationships and other forms of chronological order (steps, stages) are also clear. Old ideas link with new ideas, and pronouns are used correctly. Vocabulary, moreover, is well chosen to aid in the development of the content at every level.

(Adapted from http://www.uefap.com/writing/exercise/parag/paragex12.htm)





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