At exactly seven o’clock Wednesday night, Mary was at the door of the Coop. Beth had washed her newest Levi’s and a yellow button-down shirt. Not fancy, but clean and comfortable. Mary had on Levi’s as well and a tight red short-sleeved shirt that hugged her curves.
“I didn’t bring the car because I thought we’d stay in the Castro,” she told Beth. “But if you wish, I live about eight blocks from here, so we could go get it.”
“No,” Beth said. “Castro’s great.” She liked the idea of a walking date. It seemed more casual, more innocent.
Possibly sensing Beth’s anxiety, Mary kept the conversation light. When prodded, she shared a few Coop anecdotes, namely embarrassing ones about Dan’s jaunty libido, Diane and Gina’s constant roughhousing, and Alder’s calming ways. She also told Beth about a false alarm, where a very drunk, very nude man had sat on a couch not long after spilling very spicy habanero sauce on the upholstery. He’d frantically called 911, screaming that he was on fire.
As they strolled toward Castro proper, Beth began to loosen up, but her caution was only slightly diminished.
“Feel hungry?” Mary asked, pausing to read a menu displayed on a restaurant window.
Beth nodded. “Famished.”
They walked a little further until they came to a bistro where the clientele was not all twenty-somethings and the music allowed conversation. Over drinks and appetizers, they exchanged stories about college, dream homes, and likes and dislikes. Mary was just as attentive toward Beth at dinner as she’d been at the party. But without the distraction of people pulling her in six directions, her concentration was more intense.
After the waiter delivered their entrées, she took Beth’s hand, which quivered at the gentle but deliberate gesture. Beth disguised her reaction by squeezing Mary’s hand firmly.
“That’s the first law of thermodynamics,” Mary said.
“The first…that all energy is constant?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Mary grinned. “It remains constant. It cannot be created nor destroyed. After you talked about the second law, I got on the Internet.”
“And what relevance does that have now?” Beth was not only curious about Mary’s statement, she was delighted that Mary had remembered their talk and had even researched the topic.
“I feel my energy when I’m around you,” Mary replied. “It moves from feeling excited when I see you to silly when we’re joking. It’s constant. And I feel the same with your energy. I felt it when I took your hand just now. And it makes sense that it may change form but it won’t go away.” She pulled Beth’s hand to her lips and placed two delicate kisses on her knuckles.
“I have to admit you’re right.” Beth felt spellbound. “I feel an incredible amount of energy when I’m around you. Sometimes I don’t know where to put it all.”
“Just know that it will continue buzzing around us until we either let ourselves go with it, or change the energy into something else.”
That was why the urge to grab hold of Mary was so strong sometimes, while other times she gave in to the compulsion to run. Beth tried to relax, but her mind refused to relinquish its claim on the phrase “let ourselves go.” She knew exactly where that energy would propel her, straight into the arms of a woman dangerous to her peace of mind. She slid her hand from Mary’s grip and immediately lifted her iced water, using the drink as an excuse for her withdrawal.
They fell into an easy conversation about their childhoods and where they grew up. Beth cherished the feeling that Mary listened to every one of her words, absorbing what she said, asking relevant questions, and making her feel close to the center of the universe. Mary’s focused intensity disarmed her. It had been much easier to be with her back at the party, in the middle of a lot of people and noise. Mary’s attention had only been sporadic, but now it would span the whole evening as they finished their desserts then walked home. As much as she cherished being Mary’s focal point, Beth also wanted to bolt. She was flattered, intellectually, to have such a beautiful creature concentrate on nothing but her, but her body squirmed.
Mary’s beauty, her charm, and the obvious attraction people had for her all made Beth’s head swim in a blend of fear and desire. She wanted to blame her state on the red wine, which was this side of velvety heaven, but she knew it was Mary who’d intoxicated her. And she was enjoying the heady feeling.
She wondered what the party would have been like had she not walked down from her room. Would Mary have chosen one of the women staring at her, that hot brunette perhaps? Even if she hadn’t, that night, she could at any future time. Women weren’t going to stop hitting on her, regardless.
Beth concluded that, either way, it didn’t matter. Whether Mary had many women or few bore no relevance to this current night. Beth wanted to go wherever the night took her, because all that mattered was the time they had right now. She couldn’t predict anything and she refused to try; guessing at outcomes would only make her lose her nerve. She hoped she wouldn’t live to regret this flirtation with recklessness.
When the waiter made his fifth pass by the table, coffeepot in hand, Beth realized it was a gesture of finality. They’d been there for three hours. Sheepishly, they paid the check, left a sizable tip for the lengthy stay, and headed back out onto the street. It was ten thirty and the Castro was alive at full throttle, the sidewalks streaming with pedestrians and the bars bursting at the seams.
Loud music rolled out onto the street and the throbbing bass beats rattled Beth’s chest as they passed each drinking establishment. They were walking slowly, their hands clasped together.
“Tell me a dream, Beth.”
“A dream? Like the ones you have at night or the ones you have in life?”
“Life. Those are better.”
Beth nudged Mary teasingly. “Tell me one of yours, first.”
“Fair enough. Let’s see. I have a dream that one day I will be the first in the world to do something.”
“What kind of something?”
“Oh, there are a couple of things. One is to be the first person to communicate with a being from another world…and have proof.” She rolled her eyes impishly. “That probably sounds pretty corny.”
“Not at all. It’s interesting, actually.”
Mary embellished on what must have been a well-thought-out image. “Can you imagine what you could talk about? I’d want to know where they were from and what their life was like. A million questions, for sure.”
“Of course there would be the cover of Time magazine to deal with.”
Mary turned her right cheek to Beth. “This is my best side, wouldn’t you say?!”
Any side is your best side. Beth could definitely feel the wine. “What’s another dream?”
“Hmm.” Mary pondered, apparently trying to choose the right words. A flash of darkness crept across her face. The shadow that passed through her eyes was very nearly imperceptible in the artificial streetlights. “I guess I’d want to see people who’ve left, to have another moment with someone who’s gone.”
Beth immediately regretted asking Mary for her second dream. She’d invited her back to a painful place in her life, to those memories she’d obviously struggled with for a long time. She was about to apologize when Mary’s eyes brightened.
“Okay, it’s your turn.”
Beth left her apology unspoken. What dreams had she had lately? She mulled the question over. There had been Stephanie’s and her dream of living together forever. That had died a painful death. Any other dreams seemed to be submerged in a bowl of thick pea soup.
After Mary’s revealing answers, her own seemed evasive. “Clarity, maybe.”
“What kind of clarity?”
“Some clear, unclouded vision of what the heck my future will be. I don’t know. Maybe to understand how to make a relationship work.” Beth quickly added, “That must sound pretty lofty. I suppose a few million dollars falling from the sky would be a more likely possibility.”
“Why?” Mary seemed genuinely puzzled.
“Achieving crystal clarity seems next to impossible. A dream like that is second in difficulty right behind discovering the meaning of life.”
“No,” Mary asserted. “That one’s easy.”
“The meaning of life?” Beth was more than intrigued. “Okay, I’m listening.”
Mary stopped to face her. Grinning like a child with a secret, she wrapped her arms around Beth and lowered her face into Beth’s neck. They hugged tightly and Beth felt Mary’s breasts against hers. Instantly aroused, she drew in a mouthful of air and in the silence that followed, she could feel her heart pounding furiously. She was so dizzy, she was glad she could prop herself against Mary’s body. Although that was also the problem. She wouldn’t be hyperventilating if they weren’t crushed firmly to each other, too close to talk.
Mary pulled back slightly. She smiled sleepily at Beth, then leaned in once more, and this time her lips lightly touched upon Beth’s. They kissed, very softly. It felt as natural as breathing. Her lips moved tenderly over Beth’s, caressing more gently than anyone had, in memory. And as naturally as it had started, the kiss ended.
For a moment, Beth stood there dazed. Mary took her hand, rubbing her palm gently, studying its lines and folds. When she smiled, Beth warmed inside. She liked the way Mary’s concentration was absolute.
“I thought you were going to tell me the meaning of life.” Her voice fractured slightly.
“I did,” Mary said.
“Kissing?”
“It’s living the simplest and truest of pleasures.”
Mary hooked her arm into Beth’s and they walked down the street, languid in their pace. In the silence that followed, Beth wondered if she could ever transcend to such a free and liberated place. Mary seemed to occupy her own sphere of certainty. Even with her sorrows and vulnerabilities, she seemed completely secure in herself. She knew who she was and didn’t try to be someone else.
After inspecting a few bookstores and flower shops, they approached an adult store. Beth wasn’t surprised when Mary pulled her inside to browse the aisles.
“Let’s see what’s new in fashionable sex.” Mary grinned mischievously.
Doing what many fun-loving shoppers do, they giggled at the most outrageous sex toys and groaned at the biggest and longest. They made physical contact with each other quite a lot, grabbing an arm as they laughed, pushing a shoulder as they teased each other.
Mary picked up a dildo and waved it at Beth. “I don’t miss these at all. The real ones, at least. Isn’t it interesting, though, that while anatomically attached, these things are nothing but trouble, but when severed like this they can be a hell of a lot of fun. Don’t you think?”
Beth marveled at Mary’s gregariousness. She was bold in her feelings and thoughts and wasn’t afraid to voice them. She wore her sexuality like a snug, sultry dress.
“What makes you think I’m not appalled by the thought of using a dildo?” Beth responded, feigning mild disgust.
Mary leaned toward her, using the fleshy instrument as a pointer. “You don’t seem to be the kind of woman to shy away from a little fun.”
Beth offered a noncommittal smile. “This is one of the few examples I can think of where it’s men’s turn to be reduced to an object. A piece of meat.”
Mary raised the rubber member high in the air. “And this piece of meat comes with a free tube of lube. That’s more than I can say for the real ones.”
They laughed as Mary returned the dildo to its bin.
“I can tell you’re not a stranger to these accessories,” Mary said. “True?”
When Beth turned toward a rack of oils and lubricants, she felt Mary’s hand on her shoulder. Her other arm slid around Beth’s waist and she stood pressed against her back as they faced the display.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Mary whispered. Her breath was so warm on Beth’s neck, she was afraid to turn around.
Swarming butterflies in her stomach kept Beth from answering. She felt herself flush, her legs and arms growing hot. This woman was definitely doing something to her, something very, very incredible. As Mary hugged her a little tighter, the feeling of those firm breasts pressed against her was undeniably provocative. Beth’s breathing quickened, threatening to break into gasps. She wanted to reach out to steady herself but dared to lean back into Mary instead.
“I must admit,” she was finally able to utter, “I’ve indulged in rubber fetishes before.”
“Let me guess.” Mary’s voice lowered to a baritone hum. “They’re not a sexual necessity, just an entertaining variation every once in a while.”
Beth laughed. “You sound like a late-night radio psychologist. But, yes, I’d never replace a woman’s touch or her tongue with a fake substitute. Still, now and then toys are amusing.”
“I hear you. Never requirement, only recreation.”
Beth stared straight ahead at the row of lubricants. Several bore such alliterated names as “Midnight Moisture” and “Sultry Slick.”
“That’s a waste of money.” Mary’s whisper was as certain and resolute as a red-hot bullet, speeding through Beth’s ear and slamming into her clit.
What was it about this woman? Did she know she was driving Beth out of the last remnants of her mind? They hardly knew each other and yet Beth felt she could pursue anything Mary suggested. Go anywhere Mary took her. Stop me before I regret this.
“How is it a waste of money?” she managed to say, feeling a dizzy sexual intoxication, wanting to hear more.
Mary turned her slowly around and looked into her eyes. “That kiss.”
“Yes?” Beth croaked because suddenly she’d lost her voice.
She waited for more, but Mary’s eyes just bored into her. The silence seemed unbearably drawn out. Beth remained locked into Mary’s gaze, drinking in the goddess that stood before her.
Then Mary answered, this time sounding quietly vulnerable, “That kiss, Beth. It made me wet.”
All the air escaped Beth’s lungs, making her feel faint. Her head swirled. In that moment she understood this woman’s power. Mary had a hard, strong body, but that wasn’t it. She had a beautiful face that captured everyone’s attention, but that wasn’t it either.
Her power lay in the way she moved, the way she stood, the way she touched, the way she expressed her feelings, all rolled into one hot, fluid being. Either the sexual aura she possessed was a result of many intimate encounters, or those encounters were the result of a profoundly deep, natural-born current. Whichever scenario was accurate, all Beth could see in front of her was a fire she wanted to walk straight into. She hungered to be engulfed. It didn’t matter that one could never walk into a fire and stay very long. Her throat was dry, which she found strange, when juxtaposed with the dampness she felt between her legs.
Oh, God. They were both wet.
Mary’s eyes sparkled. “Suddenly, being in the company of all these sexual simulations isn’t doing justice to you. Let’s get out of here.”
And though Beth was sure her legs wouldn’t, couldn’t move, she somehow managed to get back out onto the street. As naturally as before, Mary’s hand found hers and they walked further through the Castro.
Beth inhaled the night air, getting oxygen back into her brain. She should admit that what had just happened was lunacy. She should. And while she was at it, she should remember that she was not the kind of person to walk into an impromptu moment and just spontaneously combust. But she made no admissions of the sort.
Instead she looked directly at Mary and said, “I’m wet, too.”
