I twist out of Liams arms and rush for the hallway, certain he will
follow. Eager to get as much of a jumpstart on him as I can, I all but sprint
the rest of the distance and a second knock sounds on the door right as I
reach for the knob. I dont bother with who is it? as I normally would. I
yank the door open and I am both stunned and relieved to find Jared
leaning casually on the doorframe, one elbow on the frame above his head,
a Boeing logo on his pale blue t-shirt.
He straightens when he sees me, one thin strand of light brown hair
falling from the clasp at the back of his neck. Hey, he says, and offers me
a sexy smile I imagine a guy like him has down to a science.
That familiar sensation I get with him is back. Hi.
He pulls an envelope from behind his back and the adrenaline
already racing through me spikes. This blew off of your door so I thought
Id hold onto it for you, he explains, and offers it to me.
Remarkably my hand does not shake as I accept it, and I note that its
free of any text or stickers. Its also not sealed. I appreciate you doing
this.
It gave me an excuse to check on you. He gives me a half-smile I
just manage to return as he adds, You gave me a scare yesterday. I actually
came by last night before the envelope to check on you but you didnt
answer. I was concerned about you being alone after you almost bit the
dust.
She wasnt alone. She was with me, and what do you mean she
almost bit the dust?
Liam steps by my side, his hand sliding around my waist, and the
touch is a branding, his hip leaning into mine, fingers flexing into my skin.
The two mens gazes lock and I am suddenly swimming in a pool of
testosterone, in need of a life raft. The crackle of power being pulled and
pushed is almost palpable. The certainty Liam and I will have words over
the encounter: absolute. Hes out of control, or rather, hes making me out
of control.
Liam Stone, I say, meet Jared Ryan. Jared lives across the hall, or
at least he will for thirty days.
Thirty days?
Thats right, Jared says, offering no explanation, the two-word
answer hanging in the air with the heaviness of a storm cloud about to
erupt. Silence lingers and we all three just stand there. And stand there. Oh
good grief, Im losing my mind. Someone say something!
Do you work for Boeing? Liam asks, proving he is not done being
direct, and I am not done being flustered by it, and yet, I find myself curious
about the answer as well.
No, Jared replies. But I have a Dallas Cowboys shirt too and I dont
play football.
Smartass, Liam says, sounding irritated while I am slightly amused,
though still uncomfortably lost in the power play between these two. I
wonder why Jared is so secretive.
Maybe its simply that he doesnt like Liam. Im pretty sure Liam
doesnt like him either. Maybe though, like me, Jared has something to
hide. This, with the familiarity I feel for him, does not sit well.
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Most of the time, Jared agrees, and I find myself caught in the line
of his stare. Glad youre okay. If you need anything, you know where to
find me. He turns away and makes his way to his door and neither Liam
nor I move, and I wonder if Liam is as surprised by Jareds abrupt departure
as I am.
Jared unlocks his door and hes about to enter when he cuts us a
sideways look. Im in safe now. You two can go back inside.
He disappears into his apartment, leaving me with my new envelope
and the overwhelming man that is Liam Stone.
I am the first to move from the doorway, turning away from Liam
with every intention of escaping to the other room to see what is in the
envelope. I cannot be cornered by Liam until I know what I am facing. In
another mad dash, the bedroom is my destination, but I do not make it.
Liam shackles my arm and the next thing I know I am back against the wall,
caged in his arms. Clearly we are turning the entryway into the
confrontation corner of the apartment. What does he mean you almost bit
the dust? he demands.
I hadnt eaten. Truth.
You had another blackout.
Youre being overbearing. Another truth. Im liking this
confrontation so far. Id like it better if it were after I opened the envelope.
Dont be coy, he warns.
I deflect. What was the shes with me thing? Im not property,
Liam. I try to duck under his arm. He blocks me and I can feel emotions
building inside me, ready to explode. I need to know what is in this
envelope. Let me pass. Youre being more barbaric than you are Prince
Charming. I cant pull it back. Its out and its like a rock landing at our feet
and I try to cover it up. Youre suffocating me. I need space.
Its too late. Liams hands drop away as if Ive burned him and there
is no missing the petrified look on his face. My gut twists in knots. Stop
looking like one of your sharks just bit you.
I head to the bedroom and this time he lets me. He lets me. Damn it,
I keep turning this into more than it is but he sends mixed signals. I dont
need or want Prince Charming. Okay, maybe sometimes I do. I dont know
anything anymore.
I pause at the bed to grab my shorts and t-shirt I wore yesterday, and
I both wish Liam would appear and pray he will not. Yep. That is how much
of a tripped-out mess I am. And I lied again. I said I wasnt looking for Prince
Charming, but deep down, I know Ive made Liam my hero. And I know how
dangerous that is, for too many reasons to count.
Glancing at the still-empty doorway, I head to the bathroom and shut
myself inside, setting the envelope down on the sink and staring at it like
its alive and will move. The possibility it might send me racing for another
new location is too much to take. I cant seem to make myself open it. I kick
off my heels and tear my dress over my head, then stare at the envelope
some more. It still hasnt moved and I still havent opened it.
Just get it over with, Amy, I whisper and reach for it, flipping open
the flap and pulling out what appears to be a copy of my signed lease with
a note attached. I w as in your neighborhood and Dermit wanted me to
check on you and drop this by. Looks like I missed you.
Call the office if you need anything. Luke Evernight. I should be
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relievedthis is not a warning or instructions to leavebut instead a
frisson of unease slides down my spine and Im not sure why. What is it that
is bothering me?
Abruptly the door behind me opens, and Liam is an unstoppable
force. He lifts me and sets me on the counter, dislodging the papers from
my hand in the process, and sending them flying to the floor. His arms
frame mine, his hands on the surface by my knees.
Reality check, Amy. I never promised to be Prince Charming.
I flinch. I told you. Im not looking for a Prince Charming.
I fuck and move on.
You told me that, too. Stop saying it. I dont want to hear it.
The last time I had a long-term girlfriend was college, and she left
me because she said I was self-centered, cold, and just wanted between
her legs. And it was true. For all kinds of reasons, it was true. I am not a
relationship guy.
What do you want me to say, Liam? Please fuck me for a few days
and move on? I didnt even say that word before I met you. But fine, fine,
fine! Fuck me for a few days and move on, but stay out of my business.
Stop asking questions. Stop trying to change my locks and order me to go to
the doctor and just stop. No barbarian routine unless its when we are
naked.
Period. The end.
He scrubs a hand through his hair. You dont get it. Im not
explaining myself well, which is a testament to how out of my skin you
make me. My point is that Im the one whos on unfamiliar territory. When I
saw your smartass neighbor look at you like he wanted to strip you naked, I
had to fight the urge to throttle him. I have never felt that. Never.
What? No. Heno.
He wants you. I want you. I cant walk away from you, Amy, and I
have this sense that you could bolt at any minute. And yes, youre right. Im
being barbaric. And intense. Thats who I am and I cant be anyone but me.
When I want something I go after it. And baby, I want you, and all I can say
is you might be smart to run before I get any more into you, but please
dont.
His voice is gruff, affected, vulnerable in a way I didnt know him
capable of being. And his eyes, those deep blue, amazing eyes are blurred
with shadows and torment over me, over something in his past I am not
sure I understand. All I know is hes letting me see it, and him, and he is
exactly what he preaches. Raw and honest, and intense, and I believe in this
moment we are a rainbow of the same colors, none of them bright or
beautiful. We are the many shades of gray and black, hoping to find a
glimmer of light in each other, not more darkness.
I press my hand to his cheek and he leans into my touch. I dont
want to go anywhere, I whisper, and I dont want him to go anywhere
either, but deep down I know he will or I will. We are destined to end. This
is the way of my world and he is as captive to it as I am without knowing it.
Then Im not going to let you, he says, his hand sliding into my hair,
his mouth closing down on mine, and there is more than passion that
bleeds into my mouth. There is the promise he means to hold onto me, and
I pray its not one we will both regret.
***
Liam and I are about to walk into the cell phone store when Liams
phone rings. Its
Derek. Ill meet you inside. Relief washes over me. He wont see my
Colorado license.
Liam holds the door for me and I step into the store and hear him
say, No, I am not going to meet with him today, followed by a deliciously
deep, sexy laugh I could seriously get drunk on.
I find Scott behind the counter on the phone and he waves me
forward. Eager to take advantage of Liams absence and wondering how
long I can really keep secrets from him, I rush forward. Rushing does me no
good. The customer Scott is talking to is difficult, and I find myself twisting
my fingers in knots, trying to will the call the end. My gaze falls on a typed
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note about some cell phone accessories and my mind goes to the typed
note left on my door. I can picture it.
I w as in your neighborhood and Dermit wanted me to check on you
and drop this by.
Looks like I missed you. Call the office if you need anything. Luke
Evernight.
I straighten and stiffen. The note was typed, but it sounded like hed
handwritten it when I didnt answer the door. That isnt logical. Why didnt
he handwrite it? Surely he didnt go back to his office to type it. And why
would he type a note stating I wasnt home before discovering that to be
the case?
Scott hangs up and slides my ID to me. Here you go, Ms. Bensen.
Nice and safe.
I shake off enough of the unease to focus on the present. Thank
you. Im so glad you kept calling. I thought it was a wrong number.
He frowns. I only called the one time and got lucky you answered.
One time?
He nods.
Oh. My throat thickens. Someone else had called me. I received
another unknown call. Can you look up who it came from?
Unknown or blocked?
I grab my phone and look. Oh, I say again. Blocked. I guess I
thought they were the same. Yours was blocked, too.
No, blocked means you intentionally make sure the person cant
find your contact info. I called from my cell so I blocked the call.
But no one but you has my number. And Meg, but not before the
first call in question.
Its probably overflow from whoever had the number before you.
Okay. Thank you for everything. I sound robotic. I dont feel it. I feel
more like a wheel spinning out of control. Liams right. Something is off
about what is happening around me. I pull up the internet on my phone
and go into Gmail, watching the door for Liam, and checking my new inbox.
Nothing. No messages from my boss, or anyone for that matter.
Suddenly, that apartment I will never call mine by choice feels creepy. Im
all for going to Liams safe hotel. Ill figure out what to do next when Liam
goes to his meetings tomorrow.
I reach the exit and Liam holds the door for me, ending a call as he
does, and just seeing him brings down my nerves a notch. We start walking
toward both the hotel and my apartment.
I found an acupuncturist to come to the hotel this afternoon and do
a treatment, he informs me.
I didnt even know they would work on Sundays, let alone do house
calls.
He winks. I can be persuasive.
You have to stop spending money on me.
Stop thinking of everything like its money spent. I know thats hard.
I had to adjust at one point. This is who I am, Amy. You have to get used to
it.
Get used to it. I want the chance to get used to him, not the money.
I say, Liam continues, we order room service, watch movies, and
get naked so I can be barbaric in approved territory. Actually I think Ill call
that side of me the beast. Lets go set him free.
The beast? I laugh, and I like that he is confident enough to laugh
at himself, and try to find boundaries that work for us both. The beast?
Thats right, baby. Lets go get your things from your apartment.
My fear of being attached to him and then losing him comes back
with a force. Once I move to his hotel indefinitely, Ill never want to leave. I
stop dead in my tracks and turn to him.
Liam. We stand there in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing several
people to walk around us.
I like that side of you. I like you.
He pulls me hard against him. Im insane for you, Amy. Like lasted
all of ten minutes.
Ive been alone a long time, I admit, and I embrace being honest. I
let myself be vulnerable now for fear of being destroyed later. Im afraid of
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forgetting how to be without you. I laugh nervously. I cant believe Im
telling you this in the middle of a busy sidewalk.
He pulls me out of the crowd, settling my back against a brick wall,
his big body shielding me from the outside. How long, Amy?
Six years. Its out before I ever even process my documented story.
He curses and scrubs his face. Since you were eighteen.
I nod. Yes.
Without anyone else to depend on?
Right.
Did you date?
I tried in college. My dorm mates legs ended up around my
boyfriend's neck and I was done with the dating thing.
No wonder you have nightmares and cluster headaches.
They arent headaches. I dont mean to blurt it out, but it feels
good to tell him. To feel safe enough to let him into a small part of what the
battle Im fighting. Thats a lie I tell so people wont think Im some sort of
crazy person. Theyre blackouts and flashbacks.
He kisses me. Thats not a lie, baby. Its survival.
Hes right. Surviving is all Ive lived for. Until now. Until him.
How?
I dont have to ask what he means. Ive implied I lost my family all at
once. Ive promised myself I will lie to protect him. To ensure he survives,
but not now. I cant talk about it without crumbling. My eyes prickle, the
pain of the past biting a path through my body, into my heart, deep into my
soul. II cant.
He wraps his arm around my neck and lowers his forehead to mine,
and if I felt sheltered before, I feel completely protected now, like nothing
exists but Liam. Ive had my share of dark days, he confesses. I get it. You
dont have to do or say anything you dont want to.
I surprise meand probably himby laughing, and he leans back to
look at me. I dont have to do anything I dont want to except, I amend,
change my locks, go to the doctor, and let you spend money on me I dont
want you to spend.
He smiles, and it is a devastatingly sexy smile. Exactly. Except those
things. He motions me forward. Lets go get your things and go lock
ourselves in the hotel room.
