a) Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
b) Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.
c) Understanding is a kind of ecstasy.
You may need to use linking expressions. Study the Useful language box on page 6.
Unit 3
How to build self-confidence
Lead-in
Ex. 1. Work in pairs to answer the quiz below. Score one point for each ‘yes’ answer. When you have finished, count up the number of ‘yes’ answers you gave.
Are you a risk-taker?
a) Were you a child who enjoyed climbing to the top of the tallest tree?
b) Would you go to a party where you didn’t know anyone?
c) Would you resign from a job you didn’t like without having another one to go to?
d) Have you dramatically changed your appearance in the past two years?
e) Have you ever gone white-water rafting, bungee jumping or scuba diving?
f) Have you spoken or performed in front of an audience in the past two years?
g) In a restaurant, would you order the most unusual thing on the menu?
h) Would you be willing to climb an active volcano and look into the crater?
Study the Score interpretation table.
| Score | Comment |
| 7-8 | You’re a thrill seeker and are not afraid of much in life. |
| 5-6 | You take limited risks but could probably afford to be a bit more adventurous. |
| Less than 4 | You tend to play it safe but may be in danger of becoming stale. |
Ex. 2. Work with your partner. Compare your results with those of the partner.
Do you both agree with them?
Do the results of the quiz really show what kind of person you are?
Give arguments to support your viewpoint.
While expressing your opinion and providing evidence, make use of the phrases given in the Useful language boxes on pages 5-6.
Ex. 3. Work in groups to discuss the following questions.
a) What are the times in life when it may be important to take a risk?
b) In what situations would you advise someone not to take a risk?
c) Can you think of a risk you have taken in your life? What happened?
Focus on speaking I
Ex. 1. Work with another student to discuss this question .
Do you always feel confident in different life situations?
If yes, tell your partner what helped you to develop self-confidence. If not, what would you least like to experience and why? Choose from the table below or give your own examples.
| - failure at exams, - being publicly disgraced, - being accused of something you haven’t done, - begging for help / money, - asking your boss for promotion. |
Ex. 2. Take turns in asking and answering these questions.
a)If you are working on something and want to get it done, will sitting at home and thinking about it help you or just make you feel worse? Why?
b) If you want to gain courage and strength, will it be better if you look fear in the face? Why?
c) If you are afraid of making a speech, how can you overcome your fear?
d) Does failure help out? How?
e) What is more helpful: gaining experience by making your own mistakes or learning from other people’s mistakes? Why?
While expressing your opinion, make use of the phrases from the Useful language box on page 5.
Focus on reading
Ex. 1. The text you are going to read has no title. But there is a list of subheadings below. Look them through and guess what this text is about.
| List of subheadings | Paragraphs |
| 1. Prepare. | Paragraph A |
| 2. Take action. Get it done. | Paragraph B |
| 3. Realize that failure or being wrong will not kill you. | Paragraph C |
| 4. Understand in what order things happen. | Paragraph D |
| 5. Get to know who you are and what you want out of life. | Paragraph E |
| 6. Face your fear. | Paragraph F |
Ex. 2. Look through the first paragraph of the text and find sentences that confirm or correct your guess.
Ex. 3. Skim the text (paragraphs A-F) and choose the correct subheading for each paragraph from the list of subheadings above. Find the information in each paragraph in support of the choice made.
I believe that one of the most common wishes is simply to feel more confident in various situations in life. But how? Confident friends may say: "Well, just be confident, man!" However, to a person that doesn't feel that confident this piece of advice may not be very helpful at all. There are however some time-tested and timeless pieces of advice.
A. The most important step in building self-confidence is simply to take action. Sitting at home and thinking about it will just make you feel worse. Here are three of my favourite ways to make it easier to take action:
· Be present. This will help you snap out of over thinking and just go and do whatever you want to get done. One of the simplest ways to connect with the present moment is just to keep your focus on your breathing for a minute or two.
· Lighten up. One way to dissuade yourself from taking action is to take whatever you are about to do too seriously. That makes it feel too big, too difficult and too scary. If you relax a bit and lighten up you will realize that those problems and negative feelings are just something you are creating in your own mind.
· Really, really want it. Then taking action becomes a very natural thing.
B. Having experiences where you face your fear is what really builds self confidence. There are certain ways to face your fears.
· Be curious. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You create barriers between you and other things/people. When you shift to being curious the world just opens up. Curiosity opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic, then you do not focus on your fear. How do you become more curious? One way is to remember how life has changed thanks to your curiosity and to remember all the cool things it helped you to discover and experience.
· Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. As humans we like to look for patterns and we often find negative patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or we misjudge situations and believe anything they tell us. A more helpful practice may be not to take your thoughts too seriously.
C. When you do things you don't just build confidence in your ability to handle different situations. You also experience progressive desensitization. It means that situations like, for example, public speaking become more and more normal in your life. After having done whatever you fear a dozen times or so you may think: “Is that it?” You may even get a bit angry with yourself.
D. When you know nothing of what you are about to do it's very easy to get lost in vague, foggy fear and start building big horror scenarios in your mind of what may happen if you give it a try. Preparing yourself and educating yourself can be a big help here. So prepare and you will feel more comfortable and confident.
E. Again, you have to face your fear. Because it is only then that you discover that failure won’t kill you and the sky will not fall down. Here are four ways that failure can help you out:
· You learn. Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it as a learning experience.
· You gain experiences. Ideally, you want to learn from other people's mistakes and failures. But sometimes you have to fail to learn a lesson and to gain an experience.
· You become stronger. Every time you fail you become more accustomed to it. You realize that it's not the end of the world.
· Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time you fail you can learn and increase your inner strength.
And remember, the world doesn't revolve around you. You may like to think so. But it doesn’t. People really don't care that much about what you do. They have their own life, problems and worries.
F. To build confidence in yourself you have to get to know yourself better. Go exploring. Face some of your fears. Fail over and over. Grow stronger through such experiences. When you know more about who you are and what you want out of life you will have more confidence in yourself and what you can do. What other people say or think will have less impact on you as you will trust your own opinion and ability. This will of course take time. So get started now.
Ex. 4. Scan the text to find the paragraphs which contain relevant information for answering the following questions. Give answers to these questions .
a) What do people realize when they fail?
b) When you do things, what do you experience?
c) What is one way of dissuading yourself from taking action?
d) When will you have more confidence in life?
e) What is one way of becoming more curious?
f) What can be a big help if you are about to do something you know nothing of?
