scoring in Quidditch.
Were not burning them, dont
exaggerate, said an irritable-looking
Departmental representative last night
when asked to comment. Baskets, as you
may have noticed, come in different sizes.
We have found it impossible to standardise
basket size so as to make goalposts
throughout Britain equal. Surely you can
see its a matter of fairness. I mean, theres
a team up near Barnton, theyve got these
minuscule little baskets attached to the
opposing teams posts, you couldnt get a
grape in them. And up their own end theyve
got these great wicker caves swinging
around. Its not on. Weve settled on a fixed
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hoop size and thats it. Everything nice and
fair.
At this point, the Departmental
representative was forced to retreat under a
hail of baskets thrown by the angry
demonstrators assembled in the hall.
Although the ensuing riot was later blamed
on goblin agitators, there can be no doubt
that Quidditch fans across Britain are
tonight mourning the end of the game as we
know it.
T wont be t same wiout baskets, said
one apple-cheeked old wizard sadly. I
remember when I were a lad, we used to set
fire to em for a laugh during t match. You
cant do that with goal hoops. Alf t funs
gone.
Daily Prophet, 12 February 1883
Balls
The Quaffle
As we know from Gertie Keddles diary, the Quaffle was
from earliest times made of leather. Alone of the four
Quidditch balls, the Quaffle was not originally enchanted,
but merely a patched leather ball, often with a strap (see
Fig. E), as it had to be caught and thrown one-handed.
Some old Quaffles have finger holes. With the discovery
of Gripping Charms in 1875, however, straps and finger
holes have become unnecessary, as the Chaser is able to
keep a one-handed hold on the charmed leather without
such aids.
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The modern Quaffle is twelve inches in diameter and
seamless. It was first coloured scarlet in the winter of
1711, after a game when heavy rain had made it
indistinguishable from the muddy ground whenever it was
dropped. Chasers were also becoming increasingly
irritated by the necessity of diving continually towards the
ground to retrieve the Quaffle whenever they missed a
catch and so, shortly after the Quaffles change of colour,
the witch Daisy Pennifold had the idea of bewitching the
Quaffle so that if dropped, it would fall slowly earthwards
as though sinking through water, meaning that Chasers
could grab it in mid-air. The Pennifold Quaffle is still
used today.
The Bludgers
The first Bludgers (or Blooders) were, as we have seen,
flying rocks, and in Mumpss time they had merely
progressed to rocks carved into the shape of balls. These
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had one important disadvantage, however: They could be
cracked by the magically reinforced Beaters bats of the
fifteenth century, in which case all players would be
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pursued by flying gravel for the remainder of the game.
It was probably for this reason that some Quidditch
teams began experimenting with metal Bludgers in the
early sixteenth century. Agatha Chubb, expert in ancient
wizarding artifacts, has identified no fewer than twelve
lead Bludgers dating from this period, discovered both in
Irish peat bogs and English marshes. They are
undoubtedly Bludgers rather than cannon balls, she
writes.
The faint indentations of magically reinforced Beaters bats
are visible and one can see the distinctive hallmarks of
manufacture by a wizard (as opposed to a Muggle) the
smoothness of line, the perfect symmetry. A final clue was
the fact that each and every one of them whizzed around my
study and attempted to knock me to the floor when released
from its case.
Lead was eventually discovered to be too soft for the
purpose of Bludger manufacture (any indentation left on
a Bludger will affect its ability to fly straight). Nowadays
all Bludgers are made of iron. They are ten inches in
diameter.
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Bludgers are bewitched to chase players in-
discriminately. If left to their own devices, they will attack
the player closest to them, hence the Beaters task is to
knock the Bludgers as far away from their own team as
possible.
The Golden Snitch
The Golden Snitch is walnut-sized, as was the Golden
Snidget. It is bewitched to evade capture as long as
possible. There is a tale that a Golden Snitch evaded
capture for six months on Bodmin Moor in 1884, both
teams finally giving up in disgust at their Seekers poor
performances. Cornish wizards familiar with the area
insist to this day that the Snitch is still living wild on the
moor, though I have not been able to confirm this story.
Players
The Keeper
The position of Keeper has certainly existed since the
thirteenth century (see Chapter Four), though the role
has changed since that time.
According to Zacharias Mumps, the Keeper
should be first to reach the goal baskets for it is his job to
prevent the Quaffle entering therein. The Keeper should
beware of straying too far towards the other end of the
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pitch, in case his baskets come under threat in his absence.
However, a fast Keeper may be able to score a goal and then
return to his baskets in time to prevent the other team
equalising. It is a matter for the individual conscience of the
Keeper.
It is clear from this that in Mumpss day the Keepers
performed like Chasers with extra responsibilities. They
were allowed to move all over the pitch and to score
goals.
By the time Quintius Umfraville wrote The Noble Sport
of Warlocks in 1620, however, the Keepers job had been
simplified. The scoring areas had now been added to the
pitch and the Keepers were advised to remain within
them, guarding their goal baskets, though Keepers may fly
out of this area in an attempt to intimidate opposing
Chasers or head them off early.
The Beaters
The duties of the Beaters have changed little through the
centuries and it is likely that Beaters have existed ever
since the introduction of the Bludgers. Their first duty is
to guard their team members from the Bludgers, which
they do with the aid of bats (once clubs, see Goodwin
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Kneens letter in Chapter Three). Beaters have never been
24
goal-scorers, nor is there any indication that they have
handled the Quaffle.
Beaters need a good deal of physical strength to repel
the Bludgers. This is therefore the position that, more than
any other, has tended to be taken by wizards rather than
witches. Beaters also need to have an excellent sense of
balance, as it is sometimes necessary for them to take both
hands from their brooms for a double-handed assault on a
Bludger.
The Chasers
Chaser is the oldest position in Quidditch, for the game
once consisted wholly of goal-scoring. The Chasers throw
the Quaffle to each other and score ten points for every
time they get it through one of the goal hoops.
The only significant change in Chasing came about in
1884, one year after the substitution of goal hoops for
goal baskets. A new rule was introduced which stated that
only the Chaser carrying the Quaffle could enter the
scoring area. If more than one Chaser entered, the goal
would be disallowed. The rule was designed to outlaw
stooging (see Fouls below), a move by which two
Chasers would enter the scoring area and ram the Keeper
aside, leaving a goal hoop clear for the third Chaser.
Reaction to this new rule was reported in the Daily
Prophet of the time.
25
Our Chasers
Arent
Cheating!
That was the stunned reaction of Quidditch
fans across Britain last night when the so-
called Stooging Penalty was announced by
the Department of Magical Games and
Sports last night.
Instances of stooging have been on the
increase, said a harassed-looking Depart-
mental representative last night. We feel
that this new rule will eliminate the severe
Keeper injuries we have been seeing only
too often. From now on, one Chaser will
attempt to beat the Keeper, as opposed to
three Chasers beating the Keeper up.
Everything will be much cleaner and fairer.
At this point the Departmental rep-
resentative was forced to retreat as the
angry crowd started to bombard him with
Quaffles. Wizards from the Department of
Magical Law Enforcement arrived to
disperse the crowd, who were threatening to
stooge the Minister of Magic himself.
One freckle-faced six-year-old left the
hall in tears.
I loved stooging, he sobbed to the Daily
Prophet. Me and me dad like watching
them Keepers flattened. I dont want to go
to Quidditch no more.
Daily Prophet, 22 June 1884
The Seeker
Usually the lightest and fastest fliers, Seekers need both a
sharp eye and the ability to fly one- or no-handed. Given
their immense importance in the overall outcome of the
26
match, for the capture of the Snitch so often snatches
victory from the jaws of defeat, Seekers are most likely to
be fouled by members of the opposition. Indeed, while
there is considerable glamour attached to the position of
Seeker, for they are traditionally the best fliers on the
pitch, they are usually the players who receive the worst
injuries. Take out the Seeker is the first rule in Brutus
Scrimgeours The Beaters Bible.
Rules
The following rules were set down by the Department of
Magical Games and Sports upon its formation in 1750:
1. Though there is no limit imposed on the height to
which a player may rise during the game, he or she must
not stray over the boundary lines of the pitch. Should a
player fly over the boundary, his or her team must
surrender the Quaffle to the opposing team.
2. The Captain of a team may call for time out by
signalling to the referee. This is the only time players feet
are allowed to touch the ground during a match. Time out
may be extended to a two-hour period if a game has lasted
more than twelve hours. Failure to return to the pitch
after two hours leads to the teams disqualification.
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3. The referee may award penalties against a team. The
Chaser taking the penalty will fly from the central circle
towards the scoring area. All players other than the
27
opposing Keeper must keep well back while the penalty is
taken.
4. The Quaffle may be taken from another players grasp
but under no circumstances must one player seize hold of
any part of another players anatomy.
5. In the case of injury, no substitution of players will take
place. The team will play on without the injured player.
6. Wands may be taken on to the pitch1but must under no
circumstances whatsoever be used against opposing team
members, any opposing team members broom, the
referee, any of the balls, or any member of the crowd.
7. A game of Quidditch ends only when the Golden Snitch
has been caught, or by mutual consent of the two team
Captains.
Fouls
Rules are of course made to be broken. Seven hundred
Quidditch fouls are listed in the Department of Magical
Games and Sports records, and all of them are known to
have occurred during the final of the first ever World Cup
in 1473. The full list of these fouls, however, has never
been made available to the wizarding public. It is the
Departments view that witches and wizards who see the
list might get ideas.
1. The right to carry a wand at all times was established by the International
Confederation of Wizards in 1692, when Muggle persecution was at its height
and the wizards were planning their retreat into hiding.
28
I was fortunate enough to gain access to the documents
relating to these fouls while researching this book and can
confirm that no public good can come of their
publication. Ninety percent of the fouls listed are, in any
case, impossible as long as the ban on using wands against
the opposing team is upheld (this ban was imposed in
1538). Of the remaining ten percent, it is safe to say that
most would not occur to even the dirtiest player; for
example, setting fire to an opponents broom tail,
attacking an opponents broom with a club, attacking
an opponent with an axe. This is not to say that modern
Quidditch players never break rules. Ten common fouls
are listed below. The correct Quidditch term for each foul
is given in the first column.
Name
Applies to Description
Blagging
Matching
Blurting
All players
All players
All players
Seizing opponents broom tail to slow or
hinder
Flying with intent to collide
Locking broom handles with a view to
steering opponent off course
Bumphing
Beaters only Hitting Bludger towards crowd,
necessitating a halt of the game as officials
rush to protect bystanders. Sometimes
used by unscrupulous players to prevent
an opposing Chaser scoring
Cobbing
All players
Excessive use of elbows towards
opponents
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Flacking
Keeper only Sticking any portion of anatomy through
goal hoop to punch Quaffle out. The
Keeper is supposed to block the goal
hoop from the front rather than the rear
Haversacking Chasers only Hand still on Quaffle as it goes through
goal hoop (Quaffle must be thrown)
Quaffle-pocking Chasers only Tampering with Quaffle, e.g.,
puncturing it so that it falls more quickly
or zigzags
Snitchnip
All players but
Seeker
Any player other than Seeker touching or
catching the Golden Snitch
Stooging
Chasers only More than one Chaser entering the
scoring area
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Referees
Refereeing a Quidditch match was once a task for only the
bravest witches and wizards. Zacharias Mumps tells us
that a Norfolk referee called Cyprian Youdle died during a
friendly match between local wizards in 1357. The
originator of the curse was never caught but is believed to
have been a member of the crowd. While there have been
no proven referee slayings since, there have been several
incidences of broom-tampering over the centuries, the
most dangerous being the transformation of the referees
broom into a Portkey, so that he or she is whisked away
from the match halfway through and turns up months
later in the Sahara Desert. The Department of Magical
Games and Sports has issued strict guidelines on the
security measures relating to players brooms and these
30
incidents are now, thankfully, extremely rare.
The effective Quidditch referee needs to be more than
an expert flier. He or she has to watch the antics of
fourteen players at once and the most common referees
injury is consequently neck strain. At professional
matches the referee is assisted by officials who stand
around the boundaries of the pitch and ensure that neither
players nor balls stray over the outer perimeter.
In Britain, Quidditch referees are selected by the
Department of Magical Games and Sports. They have to
take rigorous flying tests and an exacting written
examination on the rules of Quidditch and prove, through
a series of intensive trials, that they will not jinx or curse
offensive players even under severe pressure.
Chapter Seven
Quidditch Teams of Britain and
Ireland
