Concepts of communication
«Communication is the key» is a quote that is often repeated. In every single relationship communication is essential. Especially among parents and children. Communication between parent and child has always been important. Today, however, there is an even greater focus, especially in light of all the things children face at school and in everyday life. Without a parent knowing what is going on in the life and mind of their child, it is hard to really understand what they are going through. Communication is the starting point of understanding.
Children learn communication from their parents. Communication is not something that can be studied; it is something that people have to learn by doing. As a parent, good communication needs to be emphasized as they are talking and listening to the child. A child can tell when a parent is not really listening to them, and this can create a big problem in the relationship. Children who feel misunderstood, or feel like they aren’t being listened to will start to hold their feelings inside. This is the exact opposite of what good communication should be.
Good communication is not merely talking; it is being with someone and relating that nothing else is more important at that time. So many times parents are doing three or four tasks while their child is trying to communicate something to them. They may not even look up from the recipe or newspaper they are trying to read, as the child is desperately trying to get their attention. This displays a lack of interest in the child or what they are trying to convey to the parent. Lack of interest is one thing that will keep families from communicating. When someone doesn’t feel worthy enough of attention, they will stop sharing all together. When children stop sharing with their parents, they go to places and people that will show them attention. This can lead to trouble. The child may look for other avenues of acceptance, which could be negative influences. This could easily be avoided if only the parent had shown an interest in the child’s life. Part of effective communication with your children is being aware of their whereabouts. A child who is unsupervised or who has a parent that doesn’t show an interest in her activities, is likely to shut down and internalize her feelings.
Parents also need to be aware of what is going on in a child’s life. They need to talk with them and always know where they are going and what they are doing. Children, even though they may not show it, really thrive on acceptance from their parents. A parent who is involved in the child’s life will be more likely to influence that child. When a child knows what standards that their parents have for them, they will more likely obey and want to please their parents. Respect for a child is also important. When listening to a child, make sure to respect what they are saying and really listen to them. Listening is sometimes hard when someone is saying something that the other person may not agree with. But a parent needs to just sit back and listen. And, in return, a parent who is aware of and respects their child’s feelings, will promote greater communication from the child.
Listening is something that more parents need to work on. When a child approaches their parent, they are probably wanting to talk about or ask something important to them. Even if the topic isn’t important to the parent or is something that is debatable between them, the child wants to be heard. Then when the child is done sharing and asks for input, the parent can tell them how they feel. Nothing is more aggravating than a parent who always wants to tell the child how they should do things without even listening to what the child wants. So parents need to be sure to listen. Two-way interaction promotes confidence and security, and a secure child is one who will open up and communicate.
To gain respect from children, parents must also give in. Be firm in your household rules, but also give validity to their feelings. Encourage open and honest communication by holding family meetings where everyone has an equal chance of expressing himself. In these meetings, let the children know that they are allowed to voice their opinions without anyone criticizing them. This will open the door to open communication and make the child feel more comfortable by expressing their opinions.
Some tips for good communication between parents and children are: 1. When your children are talking, stop whatever else you’re doing to listen to them. 2. Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive. 3. Listen to your child’s viewpoint, even if it’s difficult to hear. 4. Let your child finish speaking before you respond. 5. Focus on your child’s feelings rather than your own during the conversation. 6. Control strong emotional responses when you disagree with your child’s point of view. The guide tells parents, «Controlling this response is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child.».
Stressing good communication skills is very essential in the development of children. Especially in Christian homes. As a Christian, communication is very important. It is the means that we have with our God. Prayer is our communication with God. Without that time of solitude and quiet time alone with God, there would not be a relationship. He also communicates to us through the bible, prayer, and even through other people. This is the same for all relationships. Without communication there is no relationship.
Communication is necessary for everything we do in life and we learn it while we are children. The communication skills learned by children from their families will stick with them throughout their lives. in order to have a society of good communicators, it needs to start in the home. Parents need to start communicating with their children and need to show them how to communicate with others. This is a skill that will be valued all throughout life and is something that shouldn’t be ignored. The skill of communication will be valued in every relationship throughout life. It is a necessity.
TASKS
PRE-READING
1. Read only the title. Predict 5 vocabulary items the article will contain.
2. Skim the article. Write down what the main theme of the text is.
WHILE-READING
3. Is the author trying to persuade or inform you?
4. Define any new words.
5. Write down the main idea of each paragraph.
6. Divide the article into sections (paragraphs). What is the purpose of each section.
POST-READING
7. Write one sentence stating what you learned from this article.
8. Critical reaction. Whose interests does the article reflect?
9. Indicate your interest in this article.
1 – very boring, 2 – boring, 3 – useful, 4 – interesting, 5 – very interesting.
10. Were there any paragraphs you had any difficulty in understanding?
Which ones?
11. Try to work put why you had difficulty. What was the main reason? Tick and explain.
Working Environment
Our surroundings can have a significant effect on the way we feel, think and work. The type of environment we favour for problem solving varies, depending on what puts us in the right frame of mind for a particular task. Some people thrive in a bustling atmosphere while others prefer more calm surroundings. Often we require different circumstances for different types of task. Quiet may be more suitable to analytical thinking, whereas lively surroundings might help us to get into a more relaxed, free-thinking frame of mind. We can learn from experience what conditions suit as best for different types of mental task and then try to recreate these when needed. Environmental stimulants determine our level of mental arousal, which affects the ease with which we can use various mental skills. The optimum level of arousal varies for different people. The sight of flowers, the smell of coffee, the sound of traffic, etc, may raise or lower arousal depending on the individual. Emotions such as frustration and anger also affect the level of arousal. With such a wide range of influences affecting people in different ways, there are no hard and fast rules about the best physical environment for problem solving. However, some aspects of the environment are particularly important. Adequate resources, available for employees to use, are essential. Lack of resources may cause frustration. Physical comfort is also very important, although some individuals may find it too sleepy to be creatively stimulating. Discomfort can create a distraction, raise levels of arousal, and result in stress or sleepiness. Proper temperature, good lightening, ergonomically designed furniture and office systems, little noise, and airy environment also help to create a physical comfort.
Now time to talk about policies, processes and procedures has come. The way organization is structured, the rules and regulations, the channels of communication, all impact on employee performance. With the flattening hierarchical structure and greater empowerment of the work force, many employees now have more autonomy to make a creative contribution to the success of their organization. Given greater accountability they are encouraged to apply their problem solving skills in their day-to-day work. When employees make a significant contribution to corporate success, this must be equally well publicized, both as a reward to the individual and to encourage others. Reward through promotion, bonuses and other cash incentives, plays an important role. Suggestion schemes are a popular way of encouraging employees to contribute ideas for the successful running of a business. Often there is a financial reward, such as a share of any saving to the company when an idea is implemented. Quality circles are another way of encouraging employees to contribute through problem solving. Employees should also have the opportunity to suggest solutions to problems outside their own job role. However, money is not always the most powerful incentive. Many people who leave a company to build their own business do so because their attempts to develop their ideas within the company have been frustrated. Their incentive is often achievement rather than money.
The last thing I would like to talk about is culture and management style. A commitment to original thinking, aimed at finding better ways to respond in the changed environment, needs to be reflected in the business strategy and throughout its operations. Individuals should have the expectation of high achievement through their own efforts. It is vital that this involves the whole organization. We tend to assume the attitude of those around us without realizing. If our peers and managers are happy with the status quo we may easily adopt the same view. Management style can influence both our attitude and freedom to respond creatively to changing circumstances. Consider the different influence of two tem leaders. One believes in leading from the front. He both suggests implements work changes based on his own perspective, persuading other team members that this is the best course. The second team leader leads from within the team. She is always asking the others for their views, trying to get a complete picture of what is happening. When she identifies an opportunity she tells the others, «It’s time for change, where do we go from here?». She makes change a team effort. The first group of employees inevitably feels undervalued and their potential contribution is thwarted. The second team is active in building a successful business. Setting targets and standards that stretch individuals also plays an important role. It provides a stimulating challenge, encouraging people to search for more effective ways of working, and creates an environment where individuals think only the best is acceptable. While some people find being under pressure of work or a deadline a stimulus to problem solving, others find it an obstacle. The right atmosphere must exist to encourage people to express their ideas freely. As well as being asked for ideas and problems as they arise, people need to feel that will listen when they make suggestions and not be unduly critical if their ideas are unusual or seem unpractical.
TASKS
PRE-READING
1. Read only the title. Predict 5 vocabulary items the article will contain.
2. Skim the article. Write down what the main theme of the text is.
WHILE-READING
3. Is the author trying to persuade or inform you?
4. Define any new words.
5. Write down the main idea of each paragraph.
6. Divide the article into sections (paragraphs). What is the purpose of each section.
POST-READING
7. Write one sentence stating what you learned from this article.
8. Critical reaction. Whose interests does the article reflect?
9. Indicate your interest in this article.
1 – very boring, 2 – boring, 3 – useful, 4 – interesting, 5 – very interesting.
10. Were there any paragraphs you had any difficulty in understanding?
Which ones?
11. Try to work put why you had difficulty. What was the main reason? Tick and explain.
EXTRAVERSION OR INTROVERSION
The first dimension of Personality type concerns how we prefer to interact with the world and where we direct our energy. Most people think that extraverted means «talkative» and introverted means «shy». This is a good example of how the terms used to describe the Type preferences can be somewhat misleading. There is far more to extraversion and introversion than talkativeness.
Because they focus their energy in opposite directions, there are clear distinct, and profound differences between Extraverts and Introverts. Extraverts focus their attention and energy on the world outside of themselves. They seek out other people and enjoy lots of interaction, whether one-on-one or in groups. They are constantly (and naturally) pulled to the outer world of people and things. Because Extraverts need to experience the world to understand it, they tend to like a lot of activity. Extraverts get their «batteries charged up» by being with others and usually know a lot of people. Because they like to be at the centre of the action and are approachable, they tend to meet new people frequently and with ease. Extraverts look at a situation and ask themselves, «How do I affect this?»
Introverts focus their attention and energy on the world inside of themselves. They enjoy spending time alone and need this time to «recharge their batteries». Introverts try to understand the world before they experience it, which means a lot of their activity is mental. They prefer social interaction on a smaller scale – one-on-one or in small groups. Introverts avoid being the centre of attention and are generally more reserved than Extraverts. They prefer to get to know new people slowly. Introverts look at a situation and ask themselves, «How does this affect me?»
Leslie, like most Introverts, had such an experience. «I’ll never forget how frustrating my first job was for me. It seemed as if everybody in the company, including my boss, was a huge Extravert. For one thing, I was always being forced to do group activities, like attending brainstorming sessions and sales conferences – and we were always having meetings. But even worse, my boss wouldn’t give me enough time to answer his questions. I guess he thought I was stupid, or else he figured I was taking so long because I didn’t know the answer».
Extraverts tend to be much more public than Introverts and share personal information freely. Introverts are more private, as is demonstrated by a situation that Gerry, an Introvert, experienced. «A new co-worker in our department had heard that I was a good cook,» reported Gerry, «so she kept badgering me to invite her over for dinner. Finally I did, and the meal went fine. But the next day, she began telling everyone at our weekly staff meeting about the great meal I’d made. Her effusive compliments were bad enough, but then she went on to describe, in great detail, the contents of my entire house. She talked all about the personal treasures I’ve been collecting for the past thirty years. I was furious. If I had wanted all my co-workers to know that much about me, I would have invited them over myself and conducted a tour!»
The Extraverted co-worker, incidentally, was mortified to learn that she had violated Gerry’s privacy. She had had the best of intentions and thought she’d only been sincerely complimenting Gerry’s good taste.
It’s important to recognize that the gift of Extraversion is breadth, and the gift of Introversion is depth. Usually Extraverts are interested in many things, but not necessarily at a very deep level. Introverts have fewer interests, but they pursue them in much greater depth. Once you get an Introvert talking about his or her interest, he may go on forever.
Despite their best efforts to get out of it, Larry and Mark found themselves at the annual holiday part y by the company where both their wives worked. Since both men are Introverts, you can imagine the joy each felt as he anticipated spending the next four hours with 120 total strangers. Fortunately for both, they met early while ordering drink at the bar. After some uncomfortable small talk, they learned (by accident) that each was an avid sailor. They spent the entire party talking boats, equipment, and cruising spots, and telling near-disaster stories.
Bill, whose wife worked for the same company, couldn’t wait to get to the party. He had met many of the employee’s spouses last year and he was eager to rekindle these acquaintances. As soon as they arrived, Bill and his wife – who was also an Extravert – went their separate ways, and by the end of the evening Bill had talked with a dozen and a half people, covering twice as many topics. He and his wife were so «charged up» by all the stimulation that they moved the party down to the hotel lounge with another group of late-nighters (more Extraverts) after everyone else left.
1. Give the Russian equivalents to the underlined words and expressions.
2. Summarize the main idea of the text.
3. Retell the text.
SENSING OR INTUITION
The second dimension of personality type concerns the kind of information we naturally notice. Some people focus on "what is", while others focus on "what could be". These approaches – both valid – are fundamentally different.
Again, some definitions are in order. We use the term "Sensing" to describe the process of gathering databy means of the five senses. People who prefer sensing – we call them sensors – concentrate on what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, or tasted. They trust whatever can be measured or documented and focus on what is real and concrete. Sensors trust their five senses to give them accurate information about the world, and they also trust their own personal experience. They are oriented to be present and concentrate on whatever is happening at the moment. A Sensor will look at a situation and want to determine exactly what is going on.
While it's obvious that we all use our five senses to take in information, some people are more interested in meanings, relationships, and possibilities based on facts than in the facts themselves. You could say these people trust their "sixth sense" (Intuition) more than their other five. Those who prefer Intuition – we call them Intuitives – naturally read between the lines and look for meaning in all things. Intuitives focus on implications and inferences. Unlike Sensors, they value imagination and trust their inspirations and hunches. Intuitives are oriented toward the future; they tend to anticipate events and generally try to make things different rather than maintaining them the way they are. An Intuitive will look at a situation and want to know what it means and what its consequences might be.
Everyone uses both Sensing and Intuition in daily life. Intuitives are well aware of the data their five senses bring in, and Sensors can interpret the meaning of someone's words, figure out a new way to handle a problem, or guess "who done it". Even so, everyone has a preference for either Sensing or Intuition. We all use one process more naturally, more often, and with more success than the other.
Sensors are especially good at noticing and remembering a great many facts, and Intuitives are best at interpreting facts or gleaning insights, as the following story illustrates.
Elizabeth, a Sensor, and Jim, an Intuitive, work together at a cosmetics-manufacturing company. One day the president hastily called all department heads together for a rather tense meeting. he proceeded to run through some figures that painted a grim economic picture for the company. If things didn't improve, he said, employees would have to be laid off and other cost-cutting measures taken.
The meeting ended abruptly, and the department heads left in some confusion. Jim and Elizabeth immediately went behind closed doors to compare notes. Elizabeth recognized that the company was truly in financial trouble because she understood the figures the president had quoted. As Elizabeth made additional calculations on a memo pad, her results – clear as could be in black and white - alarmed her even more than the meeting had.
Although Jim didn't have a "head for numbers", he, too, was quite alarmed. He had known something was wrong as soon as he he'd walked into the meeting, and he had a sense that there was more going on than the president had indicated. Jim had noticed immediately that their usually easygoing president was agitated, and he'd also seen several departments heads exchange furtive looks. He now remarked to Elizabeth that relations seemed particularly strained between the president and the vice president for research and development. Although nothing had been said about it at the meeting, Jim wondered if the company's greatly anticipated new skin-care line that was still being developed might be in trouble, which would have a drastic effect on the bottom line. As it turned out, both Jim and Elizabeth were correct. A few days later the president broke the bad news. – and for completely different reasons, as we've seen, neither Jim nor Elizabeth was surprised. Although they each had focused on different kinds of data, they both had arrived at the same conclusion.
While Sensors like details and see clearly what is actually before them, Intuitives have little interest in details and tend to look for underlying patterns or go for the "big picture". A Sensor and an Intuitive can see exactly the same situation very differently, which means they'll recollect things differently, too.
1. Give the Russian equivalents to the underlined words and expressions.
2. Summarize the main idea of the text.
3. Retell the text.
THINKING OR FEELING
The third dimension of Personality Type concerns the way in which we make decisions and come to conclusions. In the context of Type, Thinking refers to making decisions impersonally, and Feeling refers to making decisions based on personal values. Although emotions can play a part in decision making, Feeling here simply means making decisions based upon what is important to you and others.
Thinkers prefer decisions that make sense logically. They pride themselves on their ability to be objective and analytical in the decision-making process. They make decisions by analyzing and weighing the evidence, even if that means coming to unpleasant conclusions. Feelers make decisions based on how much they care or what they feel is right. They pride themselves on their ability to be empathetic and compassionate. Obviously, Thinkers and Feelers have different priorities. Some people find it especially difficult to decide between Thinking and Feeling. Different sex role expectations can cause some people to «falsify» their preference. A woman who is naturally a Thinker may be socialized to behave more like a Feeler (the life-giver, the mother, and the nurturer, ever sympathetic and supportive), and a man who is naturally a Feeler may be socialized to behave more like a Thinker (the hunter, the competitor, cool-headed, detached, and unemotional).
As we have said before, everyone uses both preferences. Thinkers do have emotions and personal values, and Feelers can be perfectly logical. However, each of us uses one process more naturally, more often, and more successfully than the other.
Take the example of Robert, a Feeler, who is the assistant dean of students at a small liberal arts college. Robert is responsible for conducting disciplinary hearings for students accused of violating the college’s rules. He also decides the appropriate punishments as needed. A student, Henry, was caught smoking marijuana in his dormitory, a violation that usually carries a penalty or suspension for one semester, followed by two semesters of probation. Looking into the case, Robert discovered that Henry, a freshman, had been assigned to a room with two upperclassmen who had both been in and out of trouble. Robert also learned that Henry had an excellent academic record, and he had never been in any trouble before. Henry appeared to be genuinely contrite, and he was terrified about how his parents might react if he were suspended, since they had made real sacrifices to send him to school. Taking all these things into consideration, Robert fixed Henry’s punishment at mandatory attendance in a six-week campus drug awareness program, followed by one semester of probation.
The dean, a Thinker, thought his punishment was too lenient and made no sense. She thought that failing to hold all students to the same standardset a dangerous precedent, and she asked Robert to justify his decision. As Robert put it, «I know I could have suspended Henry. But I looked at the situation this way: we never should have assigned him the roommates we did, especially knowing how eager freshmen are to be accepted. As far as I’m concerned, we created the problem. Henry is a good kid, a good student, and an asset to the school. And after all, we are first and foremost an educational institution. I feel Henry has learned a valuable lesson from this experience, and I see no need to punish him for a relatively minor offence in a way which could affect his whole life.» Although Robert’s decision was based on his own personal values and interpretation of the situation, you can see he did not make his decision irrationally.
1. Give the Russian equivalents to the underlined words and expressions.
2. Summarize the main idea of the text.
3. Retell the text.
JUDGING OR PERCEIVING
The fourth dimension of Personality Type concerns whether we prefer to live in a more structured way (making decisions) or in a more spontaneous way (taking in information). People with a preference for Judging – we call them Judgers – tend to live in an orderly way and are happiest when their lives are structured and matters are settled. They have a judging attitude and like to make decisions. Judgers seek to regulate and control the life. People with a preference for Perceiving – we call them Perceivers – like to live in a spontaneous way and are happiest when the lives are flexible. They have a perceiving attitude and like to stay open to all kinds of possibilities. Perceivers seek to understand life rather than control it.
Judgers are not necessarily judgmental (opinionated); they just like to have issues resolved. Perceivers are not necessarily perceptive (astute about seeing things accurately); they simply like perceiving options. It’s good to seek a balance of Judging and Perceiving? Since Judgers run the risk of becoming rigid, dogmatic, and inflexible. Perceivers run the risk of leaving things open-ended to the point that they procrastinate their lives away.
When Cynthia, a Perceiver, volunteered to put together a monthly newsletter for a local bookstore, the other employees were enthusiastic. Cynthia seemed natural for the job: she was easygoing and well known in the community; she also was artistically talented and had done newsletters before. Cynthia set about gathering articles and important dates, but the first of the month came and went and no newsletter appeared. When pressed for an explanation, Cynthia was unperturbed. She explained that her mother had come to visit, one of her children had gotten sick, plus she and her husband had gone skiing one weekend and she hadn’t gotten as much done as she had hoped. In addition, she was having trouble gathering some of the facts she needed, and she hadn’t been able to reach a few people by phone. Eventually, Cynthia assembled a nice little newsletter, and the process began all over again. In six months the bookstore published two entertaining, informal newsletters of which Cynthia was very proud.
This all drove Betsy, a manager at the bookstore, absolutely wild. Betsy, a Judger, expected a newsletter to appear on the first of every month, and she expected it to include a calendar of all the important dates for that month. Betsy was so irritated by Cynthia’s performance that she eventually took over the newsletter herself. She had no trouble whatsoever gathering the information she needed, and if for some reason an article was missing, she simply published the newsletter without it. Betsy turned out professional, succinct, occasionally dry newsletters, and they were always on time.
Judgers prefer a planned and orderly world, living with structure that has a beginning, middle and end. They like to be in control of what is happening and they like to make decisions. Judgers tend to see things in black and white and like to come down on one side or the other of an issue. They are more comfortable when issues are settled rather than being left up in the air – even if they aren’t the ones making the decision! Judgers may not be particularly adaptable, and they generally don’t like surprises. Perceivers like their world to be flexible, allowing for lots of opportunities for spontaneity. Perceivers enjoy adapting to new and changing situations and tend to delay making decisions. They leave things open-endedwhenever they can, wanting to suspend judgment as long as possible. Perceivers see issues in shades of gra y and enjoy the unexpected in nearly all areas of their lives.
1. Give the Russian equivalents to the underlined words and expressions.
2. Summarize the main idea of the text.
3. Retell the text.
Why Do People Work?
A simple question which goes deeper than the obvious answer, «To earn enough is to live on». Psychologists have found that mental and physical activity — and work in particular - is a dominant human driving force. Some argue that it is the same set of motivators which led a primitive man to hunt and fight in a tribal setting.
Are some motives more basic than others? Many psychologists refer to the theory of Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, which suggests that motives are ordered. Maslow felt that human beings are born with five systems of needs which are arranged in the hierarchy.
People remain «wanting animals» all their lives. As one set of needs (motives) is taken care of, a new set replaces it. We work our way up through various systems in order. Maslow's theory begins with physiological needs, such as food, water, oxygen, sex, protection from temperature extremes, activity. These needs for survival are the strongest. They must be satisfied to some degree before other needs appear. If only one of them remains unsatisfied, it may dominate all the others.
Once human physiological needs are satisfied, the other needs arise. Adults want stable jobs, saving accounts, and insurance. Thus adequate pay and working conditions are of fundamental importance. When safety needs are achieved, people seek to love and be loved. The family is the most important unit where they receive support. In larger organization it is the team, the department, the company, the trade union or the profession which may satisfy the need.
Once love needs are satisfied, needs to be esteemed by oneself and others dominate. People want to be valued in their communities, at work and at home. They want to respect themselves. Self-esteem is an important part of job satisfaction and is another step in the hierarchy. It means that the individual understands the contribution needed from him and is receiving recognition for making it. Words of congratulation and rewards are necessary things for self-esteem.
The final step is the release of potential. This may be a simple ambition to succeed or the desire to make a contribution to a body of knowledge. People struggle to realize their potentials and to fulfill their ideals. Maslow theorized that these needs predominate in healthy personalities. In his view, only 1 per cent of Americans achieve self-actualization. Why is it so rare? Most of us, Maslow believed, are blind to our true potentials. We conform to cultural stereotype rather than for personal needs. Concerns about safety make us fearful,of risk taking and closed to new experiences.
