Deena, are you controlling me right now? I demanded.
She started the car. Adjusted the mirror outside her window, shifted into reverse, and started to back down the weed-choked obstacle course of a driveway.
Are you? I asked. Are you controlling me?
Going to be awesome, she repeated. The car bumped over something hard in the driveway. Youll see. So different this time.
But what are we doing? I screamed. Tell me. What are we doing right now? Where are we going?
She backed off the driveway onto Fear Street. Across the street, the trees shivered in the woods. Long evening shadows fell over our car as she shifted into drive and sped off.
Were going to the chapel, like I told you, she answered finally. Blade is waiting for me. Waiting for me to bring him home.
I watched the smile spread across her face. Youre going to take him from his coffin and
Bring him home and bring him back, back to life. Just like Tweety, my sweet parrot. Ive already done the prep work, Caitlyn. I spent the whole night preparing. Ive done everything the book said. I know I can do it. I have no doubt at all.
The houses rushed past us as she sped along Division Street. The evening rush hour traffic was mostly going the other way. I wanted to roll down the window and shout to the other cars: Help me! Help me out of here!
But instead, I tilted my head back against the seat and shut my eyes. I couldnt control my leaping thoughts. And I told myself I had only me to blame for this.
Why did I obey her text message and come running to her house? I could have avoided all the horrifying insanitythe drowned parrot, the dead parents under their spotlights.
Perhaps she used her mind control powers to bring me to Fear Street and her house.
Perhaps I was never in control today.
From all the insanity, there was only one good thing I learned. I am not a murderer. Deena was the murderer. I wasnt in control.
Of course, the police would never buy that story. No one would. Knowing I wasnt responsible should have made me feel better. But here I was, a prisoner of this crazy girl, one more victim of the Fear familys evil, about to break into a chapel and steal a corpse from its coffin.
How could I possibly feel anything but fear and regret?
Deena pulled to the curb and parked the car near the corner. The little chapel stood in deep shadow now, the sun having completely gone down. Through the passenger window, I could see a pale sliver of moon hanging low over the trees.
A wide concrete path cut through the closely trimmed lawn. Deena made me lead the way. I guess, to make sure I didnt try to escape again.
We were halfway up the path when the front chapel door swung open.
Quick! Deena grabbed me and pulled me behind a wide evergreen shrub. We both ducked low and watched as Reverend Preller, still in that brown sport jacket, stepped out of the chapel. He turned and locked the door carefully. Then he raised his face to the sky. I think he was just taking a breath of the cool night air.
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Deena pulled me down lower. The evergreen branches prickled my face. I couldnt see the minister now, but I heard his footsteps on the path. Growing louder. Coming closer.
My heart started to pound. If he turned in our direction, he would see us crouching there. We would be caught. And how would we explain what we were doing there?
He walked right past us. His eyes were on the sky. He walked quickly, whistling to himself, swinging his arms in a steady rhythm.
I turned and watched him reach the curb. He crossed the street and stepped up to a dark green car parked there.
Deena and I waited till he drove away. Then we straightened up and walked to the chapel entrance. Its locked, I said. We watched him lock it.
Not a problem, she said softly. She motioned to the side of the building. Theres a back entrance behind the ministers office. I made sure it was unlocked before I left the funeral.
I followed her around the side. An orange light flickered dimly through the row of stained glass windows, a dim light inside. The back door was nearly hidden by tall shrubs.
Deena grabbed the door handle and tugged. The door slid open easily. We slipped inside. The air was hot in here and smelled stale.
We were in a back hallway. The door to Prellers small office was open. In the dim light, I could see a narrow desk piled high with papers, a laptop, and a stack of books.
And what were those things on top of the bookshelf? I squinted hard. Star Wars figures. The minister had a collection of Star Wars figures.
The floor creaked beneath our shoes. The sound brought me back from my wandering thoughts. I grabbed Deenas shoulder. Do you think anyones watching the chapel? I whispered. A night guard or something?
She shrugged. I dont know. Stay alert.
Alert? Id never been more alert in my life. Thats what fright can do to you. Every creak of the floor made me jump. Every flicker of the light made my heart skip a beat.
Its about time for a cat to jump out at us and scare us to death, I whispered. Isnt that what always happens in these scary situations?
Deena turned and glared at me. Why are you making jokes? This isnt funny.
I-I, I stammered. My brain is trying to keep it light, I guess. Thats one way of dealing with fear.
Just shut up, she snapped. Follow me.
A narrow doorway led us into the chapel. We were standing a few feet behind the altar. I let my eyes wander to the back of the long room. Electric candles along the walls sent a warm yellow glow over the empty pews, and up to the low wood-beam rafters.
The huge vases of lilies hadnt been moved. But the coffin was no longer resting between them. The sick-sweet smell of the lilies overwhelmed everything.
Theres no one here, Deena whispered. She pointed to a narrow side room in the corner. I followed her gaze and saw the dark wood coffin. Blades coffin. The lid was down. The coffin was bathed in a deep blackness.
They just moved it aside, Deena whispered. Follow me. And do exactly as I say. We have to lift him out of the coffin carefully. Once hes out, well wrap our arms around his waist and walk him out between us.
I shivered. Id never touched a dead person before. Blade was only the second dead person Id ever seen. My grandmother was the first, and she was over eighty when she died.
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Deena stepped up to the side of the coffin. I hung back. A wave of terror washed over me. What would the corpse feel like? Would it be all squishy and soft? Or had it hardened stiff as a board? Would it smell? Didnt all dead things smell horrible?
What are you waiting for? Deena motioned impatiently for me to join her.
I took a deep breath and stepped up beside her. The coffin rested on a low table. The lid was at my shoulders. I held my breath. I didnt want to smell it.
Its too dark, I whispered. How can we see anything?
Deena pulled out her phone. She clicked on the flashlight icon. The phone sent a bright narrow beam of white light over the coffin.
Okay, she whispered. Lets lift the lid together. Its probably not that heavy.
I moved my two hands to the edge of the lid. Deena held the phone light in her teeth and wrapped her hands on the lid.
Okay. Now, she whispered.
I was shaking so hard, I didnt know if I could get my arms to move. But somehow I found the strength. We both pushed up. The lid lifted easier than I imagined.
We raised the lid high, and it clicked into place in an upright position. Then we lowered our arms, took a step back, both breathing noisily. Deena aimed the light into the coffin. It made the white satin lining glow.
We stared into the lightand both uttered sharp cries that echoed off the rafters.
The coffin was empty.
Blade was gone.
PART THREE
25.
Caitlyn, can we talk to you?
I stared at the two cops who stepped up to my car. I recognized them immediately. Rivera and Miller. They had come to my front door a short while after I had stabbed Blade.
Now here they were at the mall, studying me as I climbed out of my car. I had hoped to go to my job. My nice normal boring job behind the popcorn counter.
But no way.
They motioned to their patrol car. My whole body shuddered with dread as I lowered myself into the backseat.
At the Shadyside precinct house, Rivera and Miller led me into a small square interview room. I gazed around the room, my hands clasped in front of me, my jaw clenched tightly. I was determined not to show how terrified I was.
What do they know?
In the patrol car on the way here, they told me they just had a few questions for me. They read my rights to me. Just like on Law & Order. They said I had the right to have my parents and a lawyer present.
That was the last thing I wanted.
Are you arresting me? I asked, my voice tiny and choked.
Rivera shook his head. Just a few questions, thats all. A few things to clear up.
Im guilty, I thought. How much do you know? Do you know Im the one who stabbed him?
Want us to call your parents? Miller asked.
No, I repeated. It isnt necessary. I mean if its just a few questions.
The walls of the interview room were a sick pea soup green, and the paint was peeling near the ceiling. Two lights inside gray cones hung down over a long table. The tabletop was covered in names and initials carved into the wood. The windowless room was hot and smelled of stale cigarette smoke despite the NO SMOKING sign tacked to the wall.
Rivera motioned for me to sit down at one of the folding chairs that lined the table. Then the two officers disappeared, closing the door behind them.
Ive seen this on TV, I thought. They leave me here to sweat and get tense. They want to frighten me.
About twenty minutes later, Rivera returned and took the chair opposite me. He wiped his mustache with his fingers, his dark eyes studying me. Caitlyn, would you like some water? Its hot in here.
Thats okay, I said. We wont be here for long, right?
All I wanted to know was how much did they know? Did they bring me here to set a trap for me to confess? Were they going to arrest me?
Yeah. Just a few questions, Rivera said, shifting his weight. He was too tall for the little chair.
About Blade? I said. I squeezed my hands together in my lap.
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He nodded. He twirled a gold ring on the pinky finger of his left hand, twirled it slowly, his eyes locked on me. We understand you were a friend of his.
Well, we went out a few times, I said. I didnt really know him. I think his family just moved here a few months ago.
I tried to return his stare. Somehow, I managed to keep my voice steady. I was glad there was no lie detector in the room.
A car horn honked somewhere outside. Rivera twisted the ring on his finger and kept his eyes on me. Where were you Saturday night, Caitlyn? The night Blade was killed.
Saturday night? I uh I was home, I said. Remember? You and your partner came to my door? I told you then I hadnt gone out.
He let go of the ring and lowered both hands to the edge of the table. Did he believe me? I couldnt tell anything by his blank expression.
Try to remember, he said. When was the last time you saw Blade?
I hesitated. I dont really remember. Maybe Thursday or Friday at Leftys.
Rivera sighed again. He leaned across the table toward me. He rubbed the black stubble on one side of his face. Caitlyn, he said, why are you lying to me?
26.
My whole body went cold. A choking sound escaped my throat. I struggled to breathe normally. Wh-what do you mean? I stammered.
Dont lose it, Caitlyn, I warned myself. Dont let him mess you up. You can play this out.
I tried to reassure myself. But my heart was going crazy like it was doing a drum solo, and Riveras hard stare was sending chill after chill down my back.
We have a witness, Rivera said, speaking softly, slowly.
Oh my God! Someone saw me kill Blade?
We have a witness who told us you were one of the last people to see him alive.
I swallowed. I didnt say a word. I waited for him to continue.
He brushed a fly off his forehead. He rubbed his cheek again. Caitlyn, is the witness telling the truth?
Yes, I said. I guess. Im sorry. Im just so so upset. My brain isnt functioning. I mean, Ive never had a friend die before.
I wiped sweat off my forehead. It had to be two hundred degrees in the tiny room.
Well, do you want to tell me the truth now? Rivera asked. You were at the dance club called Fire Saturday night?
Yes. Yes, I was, I confessed, lowering my eyes. Then I snapped, Who told you that?
Blades girlfriend. Vanessa Blum, he replied.
Girlfriend? She said she was his girlfriend?
A sharp pain exploded in my chest. As if I had been stabbed.
Blade had a girlfriend. He was just playing with me.
Okay. Yes, I said. I went to the club. I crossed my arms tightly in front of me, trying to stop the pain, trying to shield myself from his questions.
But there was no escape. I had to tell the whole story. Or at least part of the story of Saturday night.
I was supposed to go out with Blade, I said. We had a date. But he stood me up at the last minute. So I went to my friend Mirandas house for a while, and then I was bored. So I went to the dance club. You know. To see if any of my other friends were there. I took a breath.
And you saw Blade? Rivera urged me on.
I nodded. Yes. I saw him there. And I was well shocked. I mean, we did have a date, and he told me he got hung up and couldnt make it. And then there he was, at Fire with another girl.
And that made you angry? Rivera demanded.
Well
You had a screaming fight with him at the bar?
I felt totally trapped. How could I get out of this? Not by telling the truth. Could I get away with half-truths?
If only I knew how much Rivera knew.
Yeah, sure. I was angry, I said. He lied to me and there he was with this girl. Vanessa. So yes, I was angry. But we didnt have a screaming fight.
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Riveras eyes widened. You didnt?
No. No way, I said. I told him off, and then I left the club.
This was all true. I was telling him the truth.
Rivera shifted his weight on the little folding chair again. His expression remained blank. Then what?
Then I went home, I told him. I was upset. I went up to my room. You came to my house, remember?
And found the front door open, he said. Caitlyn, did you leave the door open? Were you so upset and angry that you left the front door open?
Maybe it was me, I admitted. I dont know.
He toyed with the ring on his pinky finger again as he studied me. So you went straight home from the club, and you didnt leave the house again Saturday night?
I nodded. I tried to go to sleep, but I couldnt.
Rivera took a long pause, as if he was trying to think of what to ask next. You didnt go to his house and wait for him after you left the dance club?
No, I said. I went home. I I told you, we werent that close. I was only at his house once. Im not even sure I could find it.
Did Rivera believe me?
Well, Caitlyn, how angry were you Saturday night? Would you say you were angry enough to get violent?
Of course not, I said. I Im not a violent person. Ive never had a real fight with anyone. I think I was more hurt than angry. Just because he lied to me. You know.
Rivera nodded. He studied me for a long moment. Then he scooted his chair back till it hit the wall. He climbed to his feet. Im sorry if this was hard for you, he said. I know
Yes. Yes, it was hard, I said. I reached into my bag for a tissue and wiped my eyes. I liked him. I really liked him. And now Im totally freaked out knowing I was one of the last people to ever see him. And Ill never have a chance to make up with him. Never. I cant stop thinking about it. I really cant. I wiped my eyes some more.
He opened the door and motioned for me to follow him out. I appreciate your cooperation, he said. Officer Miller will drive you back to the mall.
He waved to Miller, who had a desk against the wall in the front room. I strode quickly toward the exit, eager to get away from there.
Riveras voice followed me to the door: Caitlyn, stick around, okay? I may want to talk to you again.
27.
I hurried to the Cineplex, Diary. I was late but I didnt care. I needed to get back to a normal life, or at least go through the motions. I knew my life would never be normal again, never be like before.
I was edgy, alert to everything, so tense my skin prickled. I knew the police would be back. I knew theyd be coming to arrest me any day. Arrest me for murdering Blade, and I had no way to prove I wasnt responsible. No way to prove that I was being controlled by Deena Fear.
Maybe, I could plead insanity.
Which was quite possible. I mean, my being insane.
Yes, I was insane for getting involved with Deena Fear. Insane for falling into her trap. Insane for going along with her scheme to bring poor dead Blade back.
Insane.
Was there any other word for it?
I hadnt heard from Deena since we had fled from the North Hills chapel. We had stared disbelieving into the empty coffin. Then we ran out the back door without saying a word to one another.
Deena ran to her car, expecting me to follow. But I took off down the street, running full-speed, the cool wind brushing my hot cheeks, the ground solid and real beneath my pounding shoes. I needed something real.
I needed to get away from her, away from the horror. My brain was exploding with questions. Had someone moved Blades body earlier from its coffin? Perhaps refrigerated it or something to keep it in good shape? Had he been buried after all? Or had Deena brought him back to life the night before without realizing it?
That was truly crazy. But she said shed been up all night preparing, doing whatever magic she did.
No. No. I refused to believe it.
For two days, I kept checking the local news websites. Waiting for the story of the missing body, the corpse stolen right out of the chapel. Every morning, I grabbed my dads copy of the Shadyside Citizen-Gazette at breakfast and pawed through it, searching for the story.
But it wasnt there. It wasnt anywhere. And no one wrote about his funeral, either.
Dad looked up from his toaster waffles. Since when are you interested in the news?
Uh I thought my friend might be in it, I said.
He took the paper back and folded it to the sports section. He didnt ask why my friend might be in the news. Dad doesnt like to talk in the morning until his second cup of coffee.
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I didnt see Deena in school. I felt too distracted to be there. I couldnt listen to any of my teachers, and then Ms. Ryan, the gym teacher, called me away from our volleyball game and asked if I was feeling well.
I avoided Julie and Miranda. They wanted to be sympathetic and fawn over me and tell me they knew how bad I felt and how tragic the whole Blade thing was (if they only knew!) and ask what they could do to cheer me up.
Nothing. Nothing could cheer me up.
They were my best friends, and they meant well. I mean, they really did care about me. But I couldnt bear to eat lunch with them. While everyone marched to the lunchroom, I slipped outside.
A warm April day, more like summer than spring. I took a long walk behind the school, past the student parking lot, and the stadium.
Shadyside Park stretches behind the school. I sprawled on a bench, tilted my head into the sun, shut my eyes, and tried not to think. I thought of how you erase a whiteboard. Just wipe it clean, wipe everything away.
Start all over
Of course, I couldnt do that. How could I wipe away all the horror that had come into my life?
I sat there in the sun, in the quiet park, daffodils popping through the ground, tiny new leaves unfurling on the still-wintry trees, half in a daze. I think I would have sat there all day. Except two women pushing baby strollers came ambling by, and one of the babies was crying.
The shrill sound snapped me out of my hazy daydreams. I jumped to my feet, shook myself like a dog, turned, and made my way back to school.
I searched for Deena Fear in the halls and waited for her by her locker after school. But she didnt appear.
I didnt really want to see her. I hoped Id never have to see her again. But I needed to talk to her. I needed to find out if she knew anything. If shed heard anything. If she knew why Blades body wasnt in its coffin and why no one was reporting it missing and and? My brain was spinning with so many questions. Deena? Where are you? I shouted to the empty hallway.
* * *
And now here I was. Making my way through the movie theater lobby. Back at work for the first time.
Of course, Ricky came running over as I stepped into the lobby. His face was filled with concern, his eyes wide, his mouth twisted in a pout of sympathy.
He grabbed both my hands in his. Oh, Caitlyn, Im so sorry. So sorry to hear about your friend.
Thank you, Ricky, I muttered. I was waiting for him to let go of my hands.
I know how you must feel, he said. Losing someone you were close to so suddenly. He shook his head sadly. I thought he might start to cry.
I slid my hands out from his. Thank you, I repeated. I just thought it would be better to get back to work.
He nodded. He had to squeeze my hands one more time. Then he turned and strode out of the lobby. He was just being nice, I thought. But that was way icky.
I washed my hands, then stepped behind the concession counter. The popcorn machine was getting low, so I added some oil and started it up. It was a busy afternoon. The theater had a special Star Trek double feature starting at five, and it drew a pretty big crowd.
I was wiping the counter down after the last customer had gone into the auditorium when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen. My friend Miranda.
I raised the phone to my ear. Hey. How are you? Im at work.
I think youve been avoiding me, Miranda said. I havent talked to you in days.
I Ive been weird, I admitted. Sorry. Its been tough, Miranda. You know.
Well, if you want to talk about it, Im here, she replied. I mean, if it would help at all.
I dont know, I said. Im pretty messed up. I
Julie and I want you to come to the basketball game at school tonight, she said. Maybe it will help take your mind off things.
I dont know. I think
We could go to Alfonsos and share a pizza afterward, Miranda said. Or maybe two. Like we used to.
I thought about it. I thought about how nice it was to have such considerate friends. Friends who were eager to help me.
Well maybe I said.
Its going to be a good game, Miranda said. Were playing Green Valley. I know youre not into basketball, but you should come, Caitlyn. Well have fun.
Well okay, I said. Okay. Thanks, Miranda. Ill meet you in the gym at seven thirty.
I clicked off. Why not try to have some fun? I thought. Its just a basketball game.
What could happen?
28.
There had been a tenth-grade dance in the gym on Saturday night, and some of the red-and-blue streamers were still hanging overhead. A few stray balloons lingered in one corner near the coachs office.
I was early. The game didnt start till eight. A few kids were already in the bleachers. They sat staring at their phones or talking with their friends.
I recognized some guys from my class up in the top row of seats, passing around bags of tortilla chips. I saw Michael Frost, a guy I went out with a couple of times last year. He was sitting with Lizzy Walker, a new girl in school.
Lizzy was a mystery girl. She arrived in the middle of senior year. No one knew anything about her. But the guys were interested in her because she was blonde and pretty and spoke with a sexy soft voice.
She was sitting with her leg pressed against Michaels, tossing her hair from side to side as she talked, her face close to his cheek. Even from this distance, I could see that Michael was entranced.
I was still staring at them when Julie and Miranda arrived. They both wore maroon-and-white Shadyside Tigers T-shirts pulled down over straight-legged jeans. They spotted me right away, hurried over, and we hugged.
Were so glad, Julie said. We didnt think youd come.
Sorry Ive been such a downer, I said. I just
Miranda clamped a hand over my mouth. Dont talk about it. Seriously. Tonight is a fun night. Go, Tigers.
Go, Tigers, I repeated, trying to show some enthusiasm.
Miranda sniffed my hair. Mmmmm. Popcorn.
I rolled my eyes. Tell me about it.
Julie guided me toward the bleachers. Lets sit up high so we can see everything. Hey, maybe those guys will share their chips with us.
We started up the bleacher stairs. No, wait. Miranda tugged me back. You know I have a thing about heights. How about here? Right in the middle.
We squeezed past Michael and Lizzy who sat pressed together on the aisle and dropped down on the bench in the middle of the row. On the court, both teams were practicing, taking jump shots from all over the floor, the balls bouncing everywhere, pounding the floor like drumbeats.
Green Valley is nearly fifty miles from Shadyside, so the guest team bleachers across the floor were only about a third filled. Over the thunder of the balls, I could hear some kids from the other school chanting, Giants! Giants! Giants! Go, Big Green!
The team brought cheerleaders in their shiny, short green pleated skirts. And their mascot, a very tall, costumed character called the Jolly Green Giant. He did cartwheels along the front of the bleachers, and got a few of the Giants fans clapping and cheering.
Im not into basketball. Actually, tennis is my sport. But it was great to be kidding around with Julie and Miranda and to be in the middle of a happy, cheering crowd.
The game started and the Giants quickly took an early lead. They had a couple of players who had to be eight feet tall. Well, maybe not. But they were a lot taller and wider than our players.
The Giants played a very aggressive game. A lot of shoving and elbows and charging into players. They had several fouls called against them, but they also bullied their way under the basket to score a lot of points.
Shadysides shooting was off. They have two awesome three-point shooters. But tonight, the ball wasnt dropping for them.
Our team was down by twelve points, and I found myself really getting into the game. I was cheering and screaming, waving my fists, urging them on. Julie and Miranda kept glancing at me. I could see they were happy that I was enjoying myself.
And then the fun stopped.
I saw the two men in dark uniforms enter the gym.
I didnt recognize them until they strode closer, edging their way toward the bleachers along the sideline. The police officers. Rivera and Miller.
They walked slowly, stiffly, arms tensed at their sides. At their waists, I could see their holstered guns. They werent paying any attention to the game. Their eyes were on the bleachers.
I knew why they were here. They had come for me. This was it. This was the end of my fun normal night. They had come to take me away.
I read it on their faces as they scanned the crowd. Row by row.
Here I am. I had the urge to shout.
No way I could hide. No way they wouldnt see me.
Riveras eyes stopped on me. A soft moan escaped my throat.
Here I am. Here I am. The murderer. Here I am. Come and arrest me. Take me away.
29.
My whole body tensed as I watched the two cops at the bottom of the bleachers. The cheers of the crowd faded from my ears. All sounds faded away until I heard only the pulsing of my racing heartbeats.
