DRINK/DRUG USAGE AND
SOCIAL HABITS
I n the Filipino value orientation, a man is brought up with the orientation of strength, boldness and aggression. He is allowed more freedom of action than a woman simply because of the usually ascribed adult traits distinctive of the male responsibility, independence and conviction. Oftentimes, these traits are shown under the guise of masculinity that is, in terms of muscles, sexual prowess, booze, cigarettes. The Filipino male is to drink, smoke and have as many women as their energy will allow them prior to and after marriage. A man who is promiscuous is considered simply as demonstrating his pagkalalake or manliness.
A value very common among Filipino males is machismo or the males physical and mental superiority over the female. This machismo complex imposes on the Filipino male to engage in a sexual role which could only be verified by the peer group to which he belongs in terms of the number of affairs he maintains and children he sires either with his lawful wife or his mistresses.
What divorce is to the Westerners, queered system is to a few Filipino males. This is a way of life wherein a married man maintains a mistress, sometimes to the extent of including a second home.
As a result of machismo, there exists a double standard of morality. A set of principles requires women to be faithful, modest and chase while on the other hand, men are considered immuned from such principles and restrictions. Philandering by the Filipino male is not very much looked down upon in the Filipino culture. Because he is a man, he can be forgiven for taking too much sexual freedom. He just wants to prove his masculinity.
Social Habits
The Filipino is generally friendly, hospitable and helpful. He is a peace-loving and sociable fellow. He has compromising character and is not inclined to confrontation.
Filipinos are fond of giving parties. Any event such as a promotion, a birthday, etc. can be an excuse for having a party, or giving a blow-out.
As with any other culture, there are certain customs and traditions the Filipinos follow in hosting parties:
1. An invitation is intended to confer honor on the guest. If the guest is a foreigner, it is a particular honor to be invited not only for the guest, but also for the host. Filipinos will invite everyone casually so no one feels left out. The person receiving a casual invitation usually realizes this when the host does not insist on his coming.
2. Filipinos will be very persuasive about an invitation and if the guest must decline, it can be a delicate matter. In order to save the host any embarrassment, the guest should simply say he will let the host know an answer as soon as possible. Then, he should either compose a tactful note in response or ask a third party to act a go-between.
3. gifts are usually presented at birthdays, baptisms, and anniversaries. They are almost never opened in front of the giver. Filipinos do not want to embarrass other guests.
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When a gift is given, it is usually handed over to the hostess with an
apology: Sorry, this is all I could afford. The recipient scolds the giver for
taking the trouble to get a gift and sets it aside.
4. Filipinos do not usually send Thank You notes. Instead, the recipient waits to reciprocate.
5. it is not considered rude to be late. Filipino hostesses generally plan on an hour of socializing before serving the meal, allowing for latecomers. Though there appears to be no rule of thumb to gauge the proper arrival time, arriving at the exact time of the invitation will embarrass the hostess. It is better to be a little late about 15 minutes or so.
6. the basic guideline of social behavior for Filipinos is the concept of biya, loss of face. Practically all of the guidelines below are designed to keep things on a smooth, even keel, without risking embarrassment to anyone.
-- The host often apologies for his house, because it is a status symbol.
-- Do not admire an item in someones home. The host may feel obligated to
give the item to the admirer.
-- It is considered polite to refuse food the first or second time it is offered. The
invitation becomes more insistent by the third asking.
7. Quantity is the most important consideration in planning a menu. Not only will
additional guests be arriving, but it is considered a sign of welcome to offer lots
of food and drink.
Rice is always served with a meal, usually in the place of bread. Lechon, a roasted whole pig, is customary for many occasions and ham is regarded as a festive main dish. Seafood is seldom the main course but is usually served as a first course or as an accompanying dish. Other pointers are:
-- A hostess in the Philippines is always prepared to feed more people than were
originally invited. Yayas childrens nurses and drivers often come with the
family. Guests often bring family and friends to a gathering as well. Yayas
usually sit at the table to help the children. Drivers generally eat with the
household staff.
-- The host and hostess generally do not sit with the other guests. After much
coaxing, the guest of honor is seated at the head of the table and the host and
hostess hover, insisting guest to have more of this dish or that dish.
- - Guests are expected to eat everything, preferably in large quantities. But a guest
should leave something on his plate to show there was more than enough food.
8. Filipinos often ask guest to entertain other guest, particularly with speeches or by singing songs. It is considered rude to refuse and hesitant foreigners should remember that few of the other guests will stop talking to listen anyway.
9. Guests always linger after the meal. Otherwise it looks as if they only came to eat. When it is time to leave, they must tell the host and hostess. This is called getting permission.
