A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you HAVE an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!
IV. How do you get on with new people? What if you have to live or work together? Do you become friends or drive each other mad? Read about it.
Living with a Stranger
The roommate situation is the first challenge students face. Learning to tolerate a strangers idiosyncrasies may teach flexibility and the art of compromise. But the learning process is often painful. At Ithaca College in Upstate New York, Julie Noel and her roommate were uncommunicative and uncomfortable throughout the year. I kept my stereo up once for a whole day just to test her because she was so timid, says Noel. It took her until dinnertime to finally turn it off. Near years end, the two ended up in screaming fight. Looking back, I wish I had talked to her more about how I was feeling, says Noel.
Most roommate conflicts spring from such small, irritating differences. Suzie Orr, director of housing at Indianas St Marys College, says that the matching process is complicated: Do you put together people who are similar or different, so they can learn about each other?
Alan Sussman at the University of Maryland says: I think they must have known each of our personalities and picked the opposite. While Sussman was neat and a compulsive studier, his roommate was messy and liked to party into the early hours. Sussman considered moving out at the end of the semester, but decided to stay and fight it out. Against all odds, the two ended up being friends. Says Sussman: We taught other a lot.
There are many stories of college roommates becoming lifelong friends. Singer Jean Norris Renee Neufville of the soul duo Zhane started writing songs while rooming together at Temple University in Philadelphia. After breaking up with their boyfriends within 24 hours of each other, they managed to compose their way out of the blues.
From U.S. News & World Report
idiosyncrasies somebodys individual qualities/ habits
compromise half way between two points of view
timid easily frightened, shy
spring from come from/ originate from
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matching putting two suitable people together
against all odds although it was very improbable
compose their way out of the blues avoid sadness by writing songs
V. What idiosyncrasies do you find irritating in other people? Which of these people would really annoy you?
He plays nothing but rap music.
She loves to complain and criticize shes always negative.
She doesnt really listen when you speak to her.
He stops in front of every mirror and looks at himself.
He cant accept any sort of criticism. He is always right.
She leaves her clothes everywhere around the house.
She never wants to eat the same thing as everyone else.
VI. Mahatma Ganhi said The only really lasting and valuable friendship is between people of similar nature. In the article, Suzie Orr is not sure of this. What do you think?
VII. Read about totally opposed in temperament but paradoxically friends. Do you know the same examples of friendship in real life? Present it to your classmates.
The Record
Fred Ames and I havent much in common. I sometimes wonder why we are friends at all. Perhaps it is Freds skill as a craftsman that I find so attractive. Hes always busy making things. Everything he makes is so perfect that I sometimes feel a twinge of envy. If I happen to remark that one of my books is so tattered that I shall have to throw it away, Fred takes it home with him and returns it a few days later beautifully bound. If I knock over a vase and it is shattered into thousand pieces, Fred puts it together again in such a way that only an expert would see the difference.
My trouble is that Im one of those hopelessly impractical and incurable lazy people. Outside my work at the office (which is dull enough, God knows), the only thing that interests me is listening to classical music. I have a big collection of records and all day long the only thing I can think about is when I am going to get home to listen to a new symphony or concerto.
Ive often tried to get Fred interested in music. When Im in one of my talkative moods (which isnt often, by the way), I spend hours pointing out the beauties of a particular piece. I look at him as hes gazing at that little black statue of a monkey I keep on the mantelpiece and wonder if hes heard anything at all. When I look into those big, blue, expressionless eyes of his, I realize that he hasnt been listening to a word Ive said. Id love to make a copy of that some day, he remarks, indicating the statue.
One Saturday afternoon I came home from work even earlier than usual. Getting home from work is one of the few things Im good at. Its certainly the only time I ever hurry. But this day I excelled myself. I had just bought a new recording of Schumanns piano concerto and I could hardly wait to listen to it.
I had already played the record twice over when Fred came in. perhaps because of the effect the music had on me, I was more than usually pleased to see him. I started talking excitedly about the record: how perfect it was, how marvelous; how he just had to listen to it. He said nothing and after he had sat down, he asked me where the little black monkey had got to. I answered irritably that the cleaner had knocked it off the mantelpiece and I had thrown it away. What a pity, Fred exclaimed.
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After I had put the record on, I left the living-room to make some tea. I gave Fred strict instructions to listen to the music as I was sure he would like it.
It took me some time to get the tea ready and when I returned with a tray, the second movement had just begun. I immediately started singing loudly and did not stop till the movement had come to an end. Then I remembered that I wanted Fred to listen to the concerto, not to my remarkable version of it, so I kept quiet.
Later, when I took the tea things out, I could not help thinking that there had been a different expression on Freds face this time. His eyes had lit up in a curious way. He looked as if he had just discovered something. Once he even smiled to himself. He had been listening!
I got back to the living-room to find Fred actually holding the record in his hands! It was so strange to see such a delicate object in his big, rough hands that for a moment I felt like telling him to be careful. But I was too pleased with myself to do that.
Did you enjoy it? I asked eagerly.
Oh, yes yes, he answered vaguely.
I dont know what came over me, but at that moment I said, Well, you can have it.
Fred was astonished. What, the record? No, I couldnt, he answered, youve only just
Go on, take it! I insisted.
Well, thanks very much. I will.
A few days later Fred arrived with a little box under his arm. He gave it to me smiling as soon as he came in. A little present, he said.
When I opened it, I was astonished to find an exact copy of the little monkey which my cleaner had broken.
Did you make this, Fred? I asked incredulously.
Yes, answered Fred simply with a big smile all over his face.
But however did you manage it? I asked.
Oh, it was quite easy really, Fred answered. I got the idea from a magazine. You just melt down an old gramophone record and then you can mould it into any shape you like.
From Essay and Letter Writing by L.G. Alexander
twinge sudden, sharp pain
incurable that cannot be cured
concerto musical composition for one or more solo instruments supported by an orchestra (e.g. a piano concerto,a concerto for two violins)
excel do better/ faster than others or usually, be very good
movement principal division of a musical work with a distinctive structure of its own (e.g. the final movement of the Ninth Symphony)
VIII. The English poet William Blake (1757-1827) wrote:
I was angry with my friend.
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe.
I told it not; my wrath did grow.
Can you explain the message of the poem? Do you agree with the idea?
IX. Read this letter to an agony columns in a magazine where people write for advice. Imagine you have to answer. Write to Catherine, giving some advice.
Dear Sandy,
I dont know what to do. Emma and I have been best friends for years. We do everything together. But now things are doing wrong. Two months ago I started going out with a gorgeous boy called Darren. Im crazy about him. The problem is that Emma really likes him, too. I cant help noticing the way they look at each other. Weve always discussed everything in the past, but we dont talk about him its almost a forbidden subject. If they get together, Im going to lose my best friend AND my boyfriend I cant bear to think about it. Please help me.
Catherine
Vocabulary tasks
I. Supply attributes for the noun friend, some of them are in the texts above. What aspects of friendship do they reflect?
II. Think about friendship between women. Is it different from friendship between men? Use the words below in you report.
LONG for / after someone or something, or to do something means to have unceasing, prolonged desire for what is exceedingly difficult or impossible to obtain or to do at the moment, but quite attainable in the future; to return something that happened or existed in the past. It is often emotional.
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E.g. The shawls were rainbow hued, and beguilingly soft, and her eyes longed for their beauty. She couldnt afford a shawl; she had only coppers in her purse.
YEARN for / after someone or something is to desire passionately and tenderly, you do not feel happy or complete without it. It means a stronger desire fro what is the object of love and attachment than long does. It is chiefly elevated and poetical. E.g. If she could only feel that sense of oneness with him for which she had yearned since that day, so long ago, when he had come home from Europe and stood on the steps of Tara and smiled up at her.
HANKER for / after something, or to do something is colloquial and familiar. It implies your restless or incessant desire for something forbidden; that is, for example, out of reach, because of your physical appetite, or because of lust, greed or envy, ambition, etc. You are unhappy or annoyed if you cannot have what you want.
E.g. He hankered after money so much.
PINE for / after someone or something, or to do something means to long painfully, to yearn deeply; to grow weak and unhappy with a desire for something or somebody.
E.g. The dog is still pining for his master and has got ill.
