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IV. Discuss the following:
1. What questions did Amy plan to ask Joe? Why did he shrug these questions off?
2. Why was Joes question so confusing for Amy? How would you answer the question Who are you? if you were Amy?
3. How would you answer the question Who are you? if it were addressed to you?
4. Why did Joe never forget Amy?
V. Render the story as if you were:
Amy telling it to her best friends;
Joe discussing it with his friends;
Ms Grant sharing the results of the biography project with her colleagues;
a librarian who has overheard the interview;
Amy telling it to her teenage daughter many years later;
Joe telling it to his teenage son many years later.
VI. Use the chart with all the words and phrases found in the text to write character sketches of Amy and Joe. Try to cover the following aspects: appearance, speech, background (i.e. family, friends), education and activities, character traits revealed through behaviour.
Over to you
I. Give the character sketch of one of famous world literature protagonists. Make use of the outline of a character sketch (see below).
II. Make the biography project about one of your friends / family members / teachers or people you communicate with. Make use of the outline of a character sketch, the method of interview and present the results in written form.
APPEARANCE: age, height, weight, build of figure, face, hair, eyes, complexion, clothes
BACKGROUND: family, education, profession or occupation
LIKES AND DISLIKES: with regard to people, tastes, hobbies and interests
CHARACTER TRAITS
III. Imagine yourself in the following situation:
1. Your friend wants to know all about the people in your class. Describe them.
2. Describe some of the teachers at the university to someone who used to go here. This former student is very bad with names and cant remember his/her former teachers. Find out if this person had any of the teachers that you have now.
3. Describe your sister/brother/friend to someone who wants to meet the person in question.
4. You have just met the most attractive person you have ever seen. Tell your friend what this person looked like.
5. Your lover is in another country and you miss him/her a lot. Tell your friend about the person you miss.
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6. Describe the people in your family to your friend and find out who in your friends family your friend looks like.
7. Your friend tells you that she is going to get married. Ask her to tell you about her fiance.
8. You went to a bar with a friend. The two of you got separated. Ask someone if they have seen your friend anywhere.
9. You call up a blind date. Ask him/her what he/she looks like and describe yourself.
10. You met a very nice person at a cafe last night. You have come to the cafe again hoping to see that person again. Ask a waiter if the person you met yesterday has been there today.
11. You are in a shopping centre and you cant find your friend. Describe your friend and ask people if theyve seen anyone matching that description.
IV. Choose one of the following statements and prepare an argument to support it:
1. Its much more important for women to be attractive than for men.
2. You dont have to be physically perfect to be attractive, you just have to be self-confident.
3. Beauty contests are an insult to women.
4. There are many disadvantages in being good-looking.
V. Some people say: To be beautiful you have to suffer. Which beauty practices do you find the most acceptable/unacceptable for women? Think about some practices and answer the following questions:
1. Would you ever get your nose/lip/tongue/ears/ eyebrow pierced?
2. Would you ever get your hair shaved off?
3. Would you ever have a tattoo done?
4. Would you ever get your legs waxed?
5. Would you ever get your hair permed?
6. Would you ever have plastic surgery done?
FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
Vocabulary tasks
I. Why do people have emotions and feelings? What good are they?
| Mind the difference: Emotion is a strong feeling of any kind (love, joy, hate, fear) A feeling is something which a person feels inside him/herself (emotion or idea) Ex.: I have a feeling he doesn't love me. |
II. What emotions and feelings are usually classified as positive and negative? If you have a look at the topical vocabulary list, you'll notice that it deals with painful feelings and emotions rather than joyous ones. How can you account for it?
POSITIVE FEELINGS: admiration, enthusiasm, excitement, elation, joy, love, pride, zest.
NEGATIVE FEELINGS: anger, annoyance, irritation, anxiety, despair, humiliation, embarrasment, tension, envy, hate, jealousy, fear, shame, guilt, rage, terror.
EMOTIONAL CONDITION: to feel good, to feel fine, to feel great, to feel pride and joy, to be bright and happy, to be in a good mood, to feel bad, to feel uneasy/anxious/lonely/scared/ miserable, to feel guilty, to feel put upon, to be upset, to be tense and jumpy, to be furious, to be in a bad temper.
DISPLAY OF EMOTIONS: to express/to hide/to disguise/to control/to reveal/to relieve one's feelings, to get angry at, to cope with one's feelings, an outlet for one's emotions. To let off steam, to burst out laughing/crying, to behave calmly and cooly, to take one's irritation out on somebody, to scream and yell at somebody, to lose one's temper, to fly into a rage.
Reading tasks
I. Have you ever watched a movie or a television program in a language you didn't understand? Could you tell whether the characters were feeling happy or sad even though you didn't know what they were saying? You probably could because people communicate their feelings through body language, or non-verbal communication, as well as through words. One common sign of happiness is a smile. Discuss the following questions with your whole class or in a small group.
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1. Can you think of other facial expressions or movements that people in your country use to show that they feel happy?
2. What do people do with their eyebrows, shoulders, or hands when they feel sad?
3. What colors are associated with happiness and sadness?
II. Read the text The Expression of Emotion and compose a set of questions to cover its contents:
Sometimes you are vaguely aware that a person makes you feel uncomfortable. When pressed to be more precise, you might say: "You never know what she is thinking." But you do not mean that you never know her opinion of a film or what she thought about the last election. It would probably be more accurate to say that you do not know what she is feeling. Almost all of us conceal our emotions to some extent to protect our self-image or to conform to social conventions. But usually we give off some clues to help others determine what we are feeling.
Verbal Communication
The simplest way to find out what someone is feeling is to ask. Sometimes we do ask people what they are feeling, with varying results. If your roommate finishes washing the dishes and says acidly, "I hope you are enjoying your novel," his words are quite clear, but you know very well that he is not saving what he really feels. If he were to say, "I am furious that you did not offer to help," he would be giving you an accurate report of his emotions at that moment.
For many reasons, we may be unable or unwilling to report our emotions accurately. In some situations, people simply do not know what their emotions are. A father who abuses his child may sincerely profess affection tor the child, yet act in ways that reflect quite different emotions that are hidden from his own awareness. Even when we are aware of our emotions, we sometimes diminish the degree of emotion that we are feeling: We may say we are "a little worried" about an upcoming exam when in fact we are terrified. Or we may deny the emotion entirely, especially if it is negative. So often what people say does not reflect accurately what they are feeling. Thus, it is sometimes necessary to resort to other clues to emotion it we are to understand them fully.
Nonverbal Communication
"Actions speak louder than words, " the saying goes, and people are often more eloquent with their bodies than they realize or intend. We transmit a good deal of information to others through our facial expressions, body postures, and physical distancein fact, our bodies often send emotional messages that contradict our words.
Here's an example of this process at work. At a county fair, a political rally, or a football game, a pickpocket goes to work. Standing behind someone, the nimble-fingered thief prepares to relieve the person of his wallet. Slowly, the thief's hand moves toward the victim's back pocket and is almost touching the wallet, when suddenly the thief pulls his hand back empty. The pickpocket moves casually through the crowd, whistling. What went wrong? What gave the thief a clue that his intended victim might have been about to reach for his wallet? It could have been any one of many signs to a pickpocket skillful enough to stay out of jail: The hairs on the back of the victim's neck might have bristled slightly; there might have been a slight stiffening of the back, a twitch in a neck muscle, a subtle change in skin color, a trickle of sweat. The victim might not yet have been consciously aware that his pocket was about to be picked, but these signals showed that he was physiologically aware something was afoot.
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As we noted earlier, these kinds of physiological changes are not normally under our control. They tend to function independently of our willindeed, often against it.
Facial expressions are the most obvious emotional indicators. We saw earlier that facial expressions can actually cause some emotional experiences. Facial expressions are also good indicators of the emotions a person is experiencing, from whatever source. We can tell a good deal about a person's emotional state by observing whether that person looks as if he or she is laughing, crying, smiling, or frowning. Many facial expressions are innate, not learned. Children who are born deaf and blind use the same facial expressions as other children do to express the same emotions. Charles Darwin originated the idea that most animals share a common pattern of muscular facial movements. For example, dogs, tigers, and humans all bare their teeth in rage. Darwin also suggested that expressive behaviors serve a basic biological as well as social function. His idea that emotions have an evolutionary history and can be traced across cultures as part of our biological heritage laid the basis for many modern investigations of emotional expression. Today psychologists who take an evolutionary approach see facial expressions as serving an adaptive function, particularly as our ancestors competed for status, sought mates, and defended themselves.
It turns out, however, that some emotions are easier to express facially than others. Most people had no trouble expressing love, fear, determination, and happiness. Suffering, disgust, and contempt were more difficult to express convincingly, and these feelings were also more difficult for other people to "read." Moreover, very different emotions are easier to tell apart than are related emotions such as fear and surprise.
Body language is another means by which we communicate messages nonverbally. When we are relaxed, we tend to stretch back into a chair; when we are tense, we tend to sit more stiffly with our feet together. Slumping and straightness of the back supply clues about which emotion someone is feeling. If you videotape people acting out six emotions: anger, fear, seductiveness, indifference, happiness, and sadness you can notice that most people can portray successfully two out of the six emotions but that the rest of their portrayals do not reflect their intentions. One person appears angry no matter which emotion she tries to project; another is invariably seductive.
Another kind of body communication is distance. The normal conversing distance between people differs from culture to culture. Two Swedes conversing would ordinarily stand much farther apart than would two Arabs or Greeks. Within every culture, there seems to be a usual distance for normal conversation, one that is generally thought appropriate. If someone is standing closer than usual to you, it may indicate aggressiveness or seductiveness; if farther away than usual, it may indicate withdrawal or repugnance.
Explicit acts, of course, can also be nonverbal clues. When we receive a 2:00 A.M. telephone call, we expect that the caller has something urgent to say. A slammed door tells us that the person who just left the room is angry. If friends drop in for a visit and you invite them into your living room, you are probably less at ease with them than you are with other friends whom you generally ask to sit down at the kitchen table. Gestures, such as a slap on the back or an embrace, can also indicate feelings. Whether a person shakes your hand briefly or for a long time, firmly or limply, can tell you something about what he or she feels toward you. A word of caution is needed here. Although overt behavior can be a clue to a person's feelings, it is not an infallible clue. Laughing and crying sound alike, for example, and we bare our teeth in smiles as well as in rage.
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III. Although we often use non-verbal communication to express our emotions, we also use words. The text below contains adjectives that are used to describe emotions from very happy to very sad. While reading the text write these adjectives out and divide them into four groups (very happy/happy/sad/very sad).
In the United States, if you turn on the TV in the early afternoon, you will probably tune in to a soap opera. These daily programs tell the story of several main characters. Many viewers become "addicted" to a soap opera because they get to know the characters on the program very well. The characters become like friends and the viewers want to know what will happen to them next. The characters in soap operas live interesting lives. In fact, there is seldom a dull moment! Deaths, births, marriages, murders, fights, divorces - it all happens in a soap opera.
Let's tune in to a typical soap opera. On Monday's show, Sandra and Nick seem pleased and contented with their lives. Sandra is delighted with her new baby, and her husband, Nick, seems to be in a cheery mood, too. They are glad to be parents. Their baby has a sunny, cheerful disposition and everything is going well.
On the other hand, Sandra's mother, Emma, is miserable. She has been depressed ever since she became a grandmother. She thinks she is too young to be a grandmother. She becomes gloomy whenever she thinks about growing old. She is afraid she will lose her beauty. Sandra's sister, Elaine, is also feeling unhappy. She has become quite melancholy since the birth of Sandra's baby. No one in the family knows why she has become so somber lately.
This quiet life never lasts long in a soap opera! On Tuesday, the new baby is kidnapped. Sandra and Nick are inconsolable and Emma and Elaine are heartbroken. The baby's nanny feels responsible for the disaster because the baby was kidnapped while she was taking care of her. She is so disconsolate that her doctor gives her a tranquilizer. The police haven't received any ransom requests and have found no clues, so they have little hope of finding the child. Sandra becomes so despondent that Nick is afraid she might have a nervous breakdown.
In the world of soap operas, events happen quickly. By Friday the baby has been found. Sandra is overjoyed to have her baby back and Nick is ecstatic. Even Emma seems to be able to forget that she's a grandmother long enough to celebrate the joyous occasion. At first the nanny is elated by the return of the child. Later she announces that she is going to leave the family because of all the bad memories she has of the kidnapping. Even this announcement can't stop everyone from sharing a joyful meal. They are all thrilled with the happy ending to the story.
Tune in next Monday to see what happens in the exciting lives of Sandra, Nick, Emma, and Elaine!
IV. Write down short descriptions of four events in your life that made you feel happy or sad. In your description, do not tell how you felt. You should only describe the event or situation using the corresponding adjectives.
V. Study the vocabulary box below and think of the Russian language equivalents. Use the phrases below in the sentences of your own:
Informal expressions to show that you are very happy:
On cloud nine
On top of the world
In seventh heaven
In hog heaven
Walking on air
Happy as a clam
Happy as a lark
Clams are animals with shells that live in the ocean. Larks are a kind of bird. Are these two animals happier that most other animals? Probably not. But we use these informal expressions to express happiness.
Informal expressions to show that you are sad:
Blue
Down
Low
In the doldrums
Down in the dumps
The expression i n the doldrums is a sailing term. A sailing ship is in the doldrums when it cant move because there is no wind. How do you think the sailors feel when that happens?
The words light-hearted, heavy-hearted, broken-hearted show the idea that the heart is the centre of human emotions.
VI. We cannot be always bright and happy. Sometimes we have moods of depression or sadness. How do you find the way out of depression? How do you relax after a hard working day or at the end of the week? Read the story and comment on it. Have you ever found yourself in the same situation? What would you advise both to the girl and the parents in this situation?
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Pressure
by Kristen Melchin
The door rattled as it slammed shut and the lock on the knob clicked. She gave a sigh of relief as she leaned against the closed door. Lately her room had become a haven; a place where she could be alone and forget everything she hated to think about. She turned the volume on the radio up a notch, drawing her thoughts in the heavy beat of the song. She could hear her mother calling her name faintly from downstairs, but she pretended not to notice.
Every night was the same, beginning with an argument with her parents and ending with her running up the stairs to lock herself in her room. Every argument was the same too. Her parents were always lecturing her on the best colleges and how important the right school was for her future. She knew college was important, but did it have to be discussed every night? Even her friends talked about it.
Senior year had crept up on her almost as fast as she wished it would end. She thought it was supposed to be one of the best years of her life, but so far it qualified as one of the worst. She wished she could fast forward to the summer when all her worries would be over. She would already be accepted to a college, and the hard part, like applications and the anxiety of waiting to be accepted, would be over. Unfortunately that was utterly impossible. She collapsed on her bed exhausted from thinking about schools.
She awoke to a loud banging on the door and the sound of her mother's voice ordering her to come downstairs and finish filling out applications. What seemed to be only five minutes of rest had really been an hour of sleep. It was nine o'clock and her little sister cried as her father put her to bed. She thought how ironic it was that when she was younger, she would beg to stay up later, but now she wished she could sleep and forget about all the pressure.
II. The conversations you are about to read present two different situations. While reading pay attention how the mood of the speakers is changing and what words and phrases are used to show it. Use these dialogues as examples to compose your own conversations resulting either in disagreement or mutual comfort:
Dialogue 1.
BARBARA: Hey, Bob, have you looked through the ads section in the paper yet?
BOB: No, not yet. You know I'm interested only in the sports and business. I rarely reach the ads.
BARBARA: That's because I buy everything. And it seems you don't realize that most of what we've got we buy on sale through ads. If we paid the money they want in stores at regular prices, we would have gone bankrupt long ago! It's because I keep looking for discounts that we buy things comparatively cheaply.
BOB: (distracted, loosely) Yes, yes, you're right (continues to read).
BARBARA: What I mean is the ads for 100% cotton towels, the crystal stemware and the love seat all on sale now.
BOB: (raising his head from the paper) Do you mean to say we really need all that stuff? The shelves're just bursting with towels already. And what's this about a love seat? We don't really need a love seat to express our feelings. We're suffocated with furniture! What a strange habit buying things just to sell them in a garage sale in a couple of years literally for pennies.
BARBARA: Don't forget I also work and want to have not just things but the things I like. I'm not even telling you about the jackets and sweaters and chiffon separates that're on sale. I just want to buy something for the home to make it more comfortable.
BOB: These ads will bleed us dry. We'd better have a nice meal tonight. I'm famished and all this kind of talk is making me hungrier.
BARBARA: (muttering to herself) That's what it always comes to! You want to share your ideas with your husband and all he can think about is feeding his face. In the future I'll just have to act on my own!
Dialogue 2.
SUSAN: I didn't hear you come in. You're so quiet! Is anything wrong?
TIM: Yes and no. I haven't got the pink slip yet, but there are a lot of people being let go at work. I'm a bit scared. All this is very unexpected.
SUSAN: The company seemed so much on the make!
TIM: Yeah, but the competition is very tough, and the company is likely to be taken over by a bigger one. It may result in...
SUSAN: Don't think about it now. Here's some supper for you. Or would you rather go out to eat tonight?
TIM: I don't think there's much to celebrate. But to take off some pressure let's have a drink.
SUSAN: I'd rather go for a brisk walk or have a swim. You'll feel like a new man.
TIM: My boss told me today not to worry, but still I'm nervous about what's going to happen.
SUSAN: You're again thinking about the future. If worst comes to worst, we can always move up north where they offered you a position more than once. It's not the end of the world.
TIM: OK. You know how to comfort. Let's just wait and see what happens. The situation is far from desperate, so let's have a nice workout!
pink slip means you are fired
VIII. Discuss the following questions:
1. It isn't always easy for us to keep our tempers when things go wrong. What do you say to let off steam?
2. There are different degrees of anger and different ways of showing it. Comment on the following text:
If we could listen in on classrooms without being seen, we would hear many kinds of anger being expressed by teachers. One teacher frequently screams and yells at her children. Another furiously bangs on her desk. A third teacher throws an eraser across the room. Another sarcastically insults a child. One teacher grabs a child furiously and shakes him. One teacher slaps a child; another raps children on the knuckles. Many angry threats are heard: "I'll show you who's boss. Don't talk to me that way." One teacher is furiously tearing up papers, another charges back and forth across the front of the room, letting off steam.
3. Emphasize the importance of emotions and feelings in our life.
4. Do men and women express their feelings and emotions differently? Support your opinion with examples taken from real life or from literature/cinema.
5. What are the hidden dangers of being constantly under pressure?
6. Some people resort to alcohol and drugs as the means of fighting their depressive mood. Express your opinion about this method.
IX. Imagine yourself in the following situation and compose a short monologue:
1. Your friend has been talking about you behind your back. Confront him/her about this.
2. Your friend is rude to everyone but she thinks she is being funny. Tell her that you think that kind of behavior is inappropriate.
3. Your friend is getting married soon. You have heard a lot of bad things about her fiancé. Tell your friend what youve heard.
4. Your friend is always bossing you around. Tell him/her that you want to make your own decisions.
5. Tell your friend that you feel she/hes changed and you have decided no to be her/his friend anymore.
6. Your best friend wants you to get a tattoo. You are afraid to do this, but you don want your friend to know that. What do you say to your friend?
7. A parent of one of your friends has just died. Try to console your friend.
8. A friend of yours has told you that you are whiny and obnoxious. Tell your friend that you are just being what you are.
9. Your friend never shows any emotion. Tell her that you think this is unhealthy.
10. Tell your friend why you are feeling so lately.
X. Work in pairs to compose a dialogue which could take place in one of these situations:
1. Your grandmother is having a difficult time living alone and taking care of herself. Talk to her sympathetically.
2. You and your friend are supposed to be doing a project together. You have done a lot of work, but your friend has done nothing. Tell you friend how you feel.
3. Your friend is very shy and nervous when there are new people around. Talk to him/her about ways to conquer his/her fears.
4. You have a very bad temper. Ask your friend what she/he does when angry.
5. Ask your partner what things frighten him/her. Find out what he/she does when he/she is afraid.
6. Your friend seems very nervous about something. Find out what the problem is.
7. Many of you friends were invited to a perty, but you were not. You are feeling left out. Ask one of your friends who was invited why you were not.
8. You have a friend who always seems to be happy. Find out how he/she does it.
LOVE AND DATING
Before you read
I. Some of the quotations below are proverbial, others have a specific origin. Perhaps it is a mistake to regard proverbs as a source of accumulated wisdom. Proverbs may reveal contradictions. Maybe they are better seen as a collection of tags that enable thoughts to be communicated and exchanged. Here are some proverbs and quotations that express certain aspects of the theme Love. Enlarge on them to discuss these aspects. Say which of them appeal to you. Why?
Love makes the world go round.
Love sees no fault.
Old love does not rust.
Love is a game in which both players always cheat.
Long absent, soon forgotten.
Absence to love what wind is to fire; it extinguish the small, it kindles the great.
Love lasts as long as money endures.
True love never grows old.
Love cannot be compelled.
One cannot love and be wise.
Reading tasks
I. Read the text What is Love? to answer the questions after it:
It is impossible to discuss ways to recapture love or ensure the growth of love without first speaking about the nature of love. Exactly what is love? Although great writers throughout history have failed to agree on a definition of this elusive emotion, we find it necessary to add to the discussion. This is because so many married people have truly unrealistic expectations, not only of marriage, but of what actually constitutes love.
Perhaps it is easier to say what love is not. Love is not infatuation or passion. It is not what makes the heart beat faster. Infatuation is a wild, ecstatic feeling of having fallen in love. Although the feeling may be wonderful, it is not based on reality. The object of an infatuation is idealized or overvalued. Faults are denied or literally not seen. Thus the saying, Love is blind. Infatuation is never permanent! Because the feelings are so intense, they cant be sustained.
Love is also not lust. Lust is pure sexual desire, and this is obviously self-directed. Lust can function separately without infatuation or love. But when lust is mixed with infatuation or love, as it often is, there is a synergistic effect. This means one effect enhances the others, making it difficult to distinguish one from the other.
Because love usually starts with infatuation and lust, many marriages fall apart because people confuse the inevitable setting-in process the shift from infatuation with a lessening of love. Love is not a feeling. Feelings are never constant. They come and go. If you overemphasize the feeling of infatuation, when you fall out of love you may think that your marriage is over!
But that doesnt mean you just settle for companionship. True love offers much more. You can keep the spark of intense love alive. The first step is differentiating the spark from the flames. When you first light charcoal in grill, there is a great burst of flame. Thats the infatuation. But you cant cook on it. Its not until the flames are gone and you have a bed of white-hot coals that you can do any cooking.
True love is more an active process than an emotion. You do not fall into true love. Both you and your spouse create it, because it has to be reciprocal. Neither infatuation nor lust has to be reciprocal. Love is characterized by a deep commitment not only to each other, but to the relationship itself. It is based on mutual purposes and shared goals. It is this emotional commitment itself. Love is a decision!
Love should not be thought of as a permanent concrete solid that is either visibly there or not. It is more like a gas, coming and going in varying strength, maybe visible, may be not. During the course of a long marriage couples will experience many cycles good times, bad times, times of closeness, times of distance. Unless you realize that this is normal, you may mistake a time of distance as the end of love.
Maybe one advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love, it keeps you together until you perhaps fall in again!
At least those of us whose marriage have lasted many years know that time is on our side.
infatuate affect (sb) with great folly; inspire (sb) with wild and foolish passion
lust violent desire to possess smth; have strong sexual desire
synergism the joint action of agents that when taken together increase each others effectiveness
lessen make or become less
1. What is the difference between love and infatuation? 2. What is the difference between love and lust? 3. How can you explain the saying love is blind? 4. What is a synergistic effect? 5. How does the author explain that love is not a feeling? 6. Do you share the authors point of view on love?
