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Dependency, Isolation and Goal Derailment




 

The practitioner has told me that I should break ties with most of my important relationships (such as those listed below) and I dont understand why:

 

Mother Father Sister(s) Brother(s) Partner or Spouse
Social groups Religious activities Treatment group
Close friend(s) Political groups 12-Step programs Other

 

The practitioner encourages me to see him/her as often as I can afford to do so, even if I dont feel a need to come so often.

 

The practitioner encourages me to telephone him/her often, even if I feel I dont need to.

 

The practitioner tells me what she/he is doing in terms of personal growth and suggests that I do the same thing.

 

The practitioner goes out of his or her way to accommodate the frequent schedule changes that I request, even though it is very inconvenient for him/her.

 

The practitioner suggested that I drop out of school.

 

The practitioner seemed to think that my plans to go to/complete school were a bad idea.

 

The practitioner thought that my ideas to change my career for the better were not a good idea.

 

The practitioner offered to see me free if I were to run out of money, even if I needed long-term free treatment.

 

The practitioner has given me his or her own used clothing.

 

The practitioner tells me what clothing to wear and/or how to wear my hair.

 

The practitioner demands that I talk to no one about my treatment.

 

I have said several times that Id like to see another practitioner for a consultation about my treatment, but my practitioner is adamant that I shouldnt do it.

 

The practitioner regularly offers concrete support to me such as visits to my home, accompanying me in difficult situations, frequent calling to see how I am. When I am in a crisis, he/she is even more available.

 

I feel with this practitioner as though Ive found the kind of help and understanding Ive wanted all my life.

 

The practitioner regularly reminds me that she/he is the only person in my life who really cares about me. The practitioner regularly reminds me that he/she is the only person who really understands me and knows whats good for me.

 

Social Contact

 

I have been to parties where the practitioner was and the practitioner didnt discuss the implications of traveling in the same social circles.

 

The practitioner has invited me to parties.

 

I have invited the practitioner to parties to which he/she came.

 

I have invited the practitioner to parties to which he/she did not come but said it was because of a prior engagement.

 

I have attended professional meetings with this practitioner at his/her invitation.

 

This practitioner and I usually attend the same AA or Al-Anon (or equivalent) meeting.

 

This practitioner often gives me a ride to the bus at the end of the session.

 

This practitioner often gives me a ride home.

 

I have stayed at this practitioners house overnight.

 

I have spent social time with members of this practitioners family.

 

I have been/am intimately involved with one or more members of this practitioners family.

 

This practitioner and I have close friends in common.

 

Practitioner said or implied that we could be friends when treatment was over.

 

The practitioner sometimes takes drugs or drinks alcohol with me.

 

The practitioner has given me illegal drugs.

 

I have seen my practitioner nude at the health spa, gym, etc.

 

I have seen my practitioner at the gym or health club (dressed).

 

My practitioner and I are on the same sports team.

 

My practitioner and I are on competing sports teams and predictably see each other in that context.

 

I have access to a lot of personal information about the practitioner from mutual friends or colleagues.

 

We have never discussed how social contact outside the professional relationship might affect the professional relationship.

 

Other kinds of social contact. Please describe:

 

Feeling Special

 

The practitioner told me that I was his/her favorite client.

 

The practitioner talked about other clients in my presence.

 

The practitioner took calls from other clients in my presence and let me know who they were.

 

The practitioner said that she/he had never known anyone like me before.

 

The practitioner gives me lots of presents and says theyre a reflection of how important I am to him/her.

 

The practitioner tells me about other clients in a way that makes me feel important, trusted and special.

 

The practitioner told me I was special.

 

Other ways the practitioner helped you feel special. Please describe:

 

Cult Themes

 

There are many clients who seem close to this practitioner. I have met them or heard about them.

 

The practitioner likes to foster a sense of family and community among his/her clients, which I have been part of.

 

There are often parties or social meetings at the practitioners home, which I have attended.

 

The practitioner often takes former clients on as trainees at his/her training institute.

 

The practitioner plays the role of guru for his/her clients. He/she has a vision about how the world should be and is trying to develop a community of clients as followers/participants in this community.

 

I myself have been part of the planning group for the community the practitioner hopes to develop.

 

The practitioner talks about other clients I know with no respect for their right to confidentiality.

 

Ritualized group activities such as ceremonies were part of my relationship with the practitioner and his/her community.

 

The practitioner is the guru of the group in which she/he is involved.

 

Ritualized, sadistic activity in the presence of others.

 

Other ways the practitioner established a community or family-type atmosphere. Please describe:

 

Mind Control

 

The practitioner uses hypnosis as part of the treatment and I often dont know whats going on. When I ask, he/she refuses to answer.

 

I feel as though Ive been hypnotized or somehow in a trance-like state in the practitioners presence, though he/she doesnt seem to obviously use hypnosis.

 

I remember the practitioner making hypnotic suggestions that I dont feel comfortable with.

 

After treatment was over, I began to remember some of the things the practitioner said or did while I was in a trance-like state, which in retrospect feel very uncomfortable or abusive.

 

The practitioner suggested that I kill myself.

 

The practitioner failed to take my suicidal feelings seriously. The practitioner suggested or implied that I might be better off dead.

 

The practitioner fostered a lot of dependency and then started trying to get me to do things I didnt want to do.

 

The practitioner insulted what I believed were the good parts of my life.

 

A short time after I started treatment, my life began to fall apart. The practitioner didnt seem concerned about my life. Rather, he/she seemed concerned that I stay dependent on him/her. Sometimes I feel/felt drugged after sessions.

 

Other ways the practitioner affected your thinking or undermined your strength. Please describe:

 

Sexual Activity

 

The practitioner engaged (with or without physical force) in overt sexual contact such as: kissing of mouth, breasts, genitals; sexual hugs (prolonged full body hugs, pelvic thrusts, obvious erections); partial or total disrobing for the purpose of sexual contact; fondling of breasts or genitals (with or without clothing); masturbation; oral sex; vaginal or anal intercourse; use of sex toys; sexual activity while I was drugged.

 

Practitioner engaged in sexual activity with me against my will.

 

Practitioner initiated sexual activity with me on the condition that I keep quiet about it, by saying things like: If this gets out it will ruin me and/or my family.

 

After the sexual part of my relationship with the practitioner ended, he/she told me that if I told anyone she/hed be ruined.

 

After the sexual part of my relationship with the practitioner ended, he/she threatened to expose embarrassing parts of my psychological history if I ever told anyone in authority or filed a complaint.

 

Practitioner threatens that if I dont work on my repressed sexuality by being sexual with him/her, Ill never get better.

 

After treatment ended, the practitioner called to ask me for a date.

 

A short time after treatment ended, I started a sexual relationship with the practitioner.

 

Seductive Language and Nonverbal Interaction:

 

Practitioner says, If only Id known you back then, wed have made a good couple

 

Practitioner compliments my body.

 

Practitioner discusses his/ her sexual attraction to me.

 

Practitioner says, If only we both werent married

 

Practitioner says he/she would like to have an affair with me when treatment is over.

 

Practitioner seems to have a voyeuristic interest in my sex life.

 

Practitioner sends me love letters.

 

Practitioner gives me sex toys to use at home, tells me how to use them and asks for details about how Im doing with them.

 

Practitioner makes frequent comments on my appearance with the goal of having me appear as sexually attractive as possible.

 

Practitioner often suggested or implied that we could have an affair when treatment was over.

 

Practitioner looks at me in a voyeuristic way.

 

Treatment Process

 

Practitioner tells me his/her problems so that I can offer help or advice.

 

Practitioner talks a lot about him/herself and I dont understand the relevance of what she/he is sharing for my treatment.

 

Practitioner seems to free associate to what I say and spin off into his/her own thinking. I feel like my issues arent being addressed.

 

Practitioner always acts like he/she knows whats best for me without asking me.

 

Practitioner is cold, distant, rigid.

 

Practitioner gets very angry, sometimes yells at me.

 

Practitioner interprets everything that happens between us as transference, even when Im sure he/she has had a clear effect on how I feel.

 

Since starting treatment, Ive felt worse rather than better, and the practitioner doesnt seem concerned that this is happening or explain why it might be happening.

 

After starting treatment, my life began to fall apart. Rather than being concerned about the quality of my life or my state of mind, the practitioner seems more interested that I stay dependent upon him/her.

 

Since starting treatment, Ive felt suicidal for the first time in my life; the practitioner doesnt seem concerned.

 

Practitioner is hostile, sadistic.

 

Practitioner seems to enjoy my pain.

 

Practitioner fails to take my suicidal feelings seriously.

 

Practitioner suggested, either directly or indirectly, that I kill myself (e.g. that I would be better off dead; that s/he dreamt that I was dead; that suicide might be a reasonable alternative for me, etc.).

 

Practitioner insults parts of myself over which I have little or no control such as my physical characteristics and abilities, weight, race, gender, age, sexual orientation, hospitalization history, etc.

 

Practitioner insults other aspects of my life. She/he seems more interested in tearing me down than in building me up.

 

Practitioner threatens that if I dont do what he/she says, Ill never get better. Sometimes that feels right, sometimes it doesnt.

 

The practitioner diminished the importance of a prior abusive treatment.

 

The practitioner refuses to address my current needs, always insisting that my current problems must be addressed by working with my earlier experiences.

 

The practitioner repeatedly yells at me in a loud voice.

 

I often say that I dont think treatment is going very well and the practitioner brushes me off.

 

When I raise questions about what is happening in my treatment, the practitioner refuses to discuss the treatment process, how he/she works, what I can expect from the treatment, etc.

 

The practitioner would not tell me what his/her credentials are.

 

The practitioner misrepresented his/her credentials.

 

The practitioner advertised services that he/she was not qualified to deliver.

 

The practitioner uses drugs or alcohol with me.

 

The practitioner encouraged me to use drugs or alcohol, even though he/she knows that I have a history of troubles with drugs or alcohol.

 

The practitioner seemed drugged or drunk in sessions.

 

The practitioner and I used drugs or alcohol together during treatment sessions or office visits.

 

The practitioner insults me for having the problems I have.

 

The treatment ended without a termination process.

 

The treatment ended with me feeling very upset, and the practitioner didnt suggest a referral to another practitioner.

 

The practitioner talked about me with other people without my permission.

 

The practitioner failed to carefully explain the limits of confidentiality.

 

Other aspects of the therapy process that didnt feel right. Please describe:

 

Dual Roles

 

The practitioner is my clinical supervisor (or vice versa).

 

I work for the practitioner.

 

I work for the practitioner in exchange for treatment sessions.

 

The practitioner is/was my teacher, dissertation advisor, etc.

 

The practitioner and I are friends apart from the treatment.

 

The practitioner is a relative of mine.

 

The practitioner is a close friend of my family.

 

The practitioner and I are colleagues or peers in a work setting.

 

The practitioner and I are engaged in a joint business venture.

 

The practitioner has borrowed money from me.

 

Other dual roles. Please describe:

 





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