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ESSENTIAL COURSE

Unit One

 

text

 

From: DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

By R. Gordon

 

Richard Gordon was born in 1921. He has been an anaesthetist at St. Bartholomew's Hospital,1 a ship's surgeon and an assistant editor of the British Medical Journal. He left medical practice in 1952 and started writing his "Doctor" series.

"Doctor in the House" is one of Gordon's twelve "Doctor" books and is noted for witty description of a medical student's years of professional training.

 

To a medical student the final examinations are something like death: an unpleasant inevitability to be faced sooner or later, one's state after which is determined by care spent in preparing for the event.

An examination is nothing more than an investigation of a man's knowledge, conducted in a way that the authorities have found the most fair and convenient to both sides. But the medical student cannot see it in this light. Examinations touch off his fighting spirit; they are a straight contest between himself and the examiners, conducted on well-established rules for both, and he goes at them like a prize-fighter.

There is rarely any frank cheating in medical examinations, but the candidates spend almost as much time over the technical details of the contest as they do learning general medicine from their textbooks.

Benskin discovered that Malcolm Maxworth was the St. Swithin's representative on the examining Committee and thenceforward we attended all his ward rounds, standing at the front and gazing at him like impressionable music enthusiasts at the solo violinist. Meanwhile, we despondently ticked the days off the calendar, swotted up the spot questions, and ran a final breathless sprint down the well-trodden paths of medicine.

 

 

Flagrant ,

 

The examination began with the written papers. A single invigilator2 sat in his gown and hood on a raised platform to keep an eye open for flagrant cheating. He was helped by two or three uniformed porters who stood by the door and looked dispassionately down at the poor victims, like the policemen that flank( ) the dock( ) at the Old Bailey.3

Three hours were allowed for the paper. About half-way through the anonymous examinees began to differentiate themselves. Some of them strode up for an extra answer book, with an awkward expression of self-consciousness and superiority in their faces. Others rose to their feet, handed in their papers and left. Whether these people were so brilliant they were able to complete the examination in an hour and a half or whether this was the time required for them to set down unhurriedly their entire knowledge of medicine was never apparent from the nonchalant air with which they left the room. The invigilator tapped his bell half an hour before time; the last question was rushed through, then the porters began tearing papers away from gentlemen dissatisfied with the period allowed for them to express themselves and hoping by an incomplete sentence to give the examiners the impression of frustrated brilliance.

Iwalked down the stairs feeling as if I had just finished an eight-round fight. In the square outside the first person I recognized was Grimsdyke.

"How did you get on?" I asked.

"So-so," he replied. "However, I am not worried. They never read the papers anyway. Haven't you heard how they mark the tripos4 at Cambridge, my dear old boy? The night before the results come out the old don totters bade, from hall and chucks the lot down the staircase. The ones that stick on the top flight are given firsts,5 most of them end up on the landing and get seconds, thirds go to the lower flight, and any reaching the ground floor are failed. This system has been working admirably for years without arousing any comment."

The unpopular oral examination was held a week after the papers. The written answers have a certain remoteness about them, and mistakes and omissions, like those of life, can be made without the threat of immediate punishment. But the viva is judgement day. A false answer, and the god's brow threatens like imminent thunderstorm. If the candidate loses his nerve in front of this terrible displeasure he is finished: confusion breeds

 

 

confusion and he will come to the end of his interrogation struggling like a cow in a bog.

Iwas shown to a tiny waiting-room furnished with hard chairs, a wooden table, and windows that wouldn't open, like the condemned cell. There were six other candidates waiting, to go in with me, who illustrated the types fairly commonfy seen in viva waiting-rooms. There was the Nonchalant, lolling back on the rear legs of his chair with his feet on the table. Next to him, a man of the Frankly Worried class sat on the edge of his chair tearing little bits off his invitation card and jumping irritatingly every time the door opened. There was the Crammer, fondling the pages of his battered textbook in a desperate farewell embrace, and his opposite, the Old Stager, who treated the whole thing with the familiarity of a photographer at a wedding. He had obviously failed the examination so often he looked upon the viva simply as another engagement to be fitted into his day.

The other occupant of the room was a woman. Women students - the attractive ones, not those who are feminine only through inescapable anatomic arrangements are under disadvantage in oral examinations. The male examiners are so afraid of being prejudiced favourably by their sex they usually adopt towards them an attitude of undeserved sternness. But this girl had given care to her preparations for the examination. Her suit was neat but not smart; her hair tidy but not striking; she wore enough make-up to look attractive, and she was obviously practising, with some effort, a look of admiring submission to the male sex. I felt sure she would get through.

"You go to table four," the porter told me.

I stood before table four. I didn't recognize the examiners. One was a burly, elderly man like a retired prize-fighter; the other was invisible, as he was occupied in reading the morning's Times.

"Well, how would you treat a case of tetanus?" My heart leaped hopefully. This was something I knew, as there had recently been a case at St. Swithin's. I started off confidentially, reeling out the lines of treatment and feeling much better. The examiner suddenly cut me short.

"All right, all right," he said impatiently, "you seem to know that A girl of twenty comes to you complaining of gaining weight, what would you do?" I rallied my thoughts and stumbled through the answer...

 

The days after the viva were black ones. It was like having a severe accident. For the first few hours I was numbed, unable to realize what had hit me. Then I began to wonder if I would ever make a recovery and win through. One or two of my friends heartened me by describing equally depressing experiences that had overtaken them previously and still allowed them to pass. I began to hope. Little shreds of success collected together and weaved themselves into a triumphal garland...

"One doesn't fail exams," said Grimsdyke firmly. "One comes down, one muffs, one is ploughed, plucked, or pipped. These infer a misfortune that is not one's own fault. To speak of failing is bad taste. It's the same idea as talking about passing away and going above instead of plain dying." The examination results were to be published at noon.

We arrived in the examination building to find the same candidates there, but they were a subdued, muttering crowd, like the supporters of a home team who had just been beaten in a cup tie.

We had heard exactly what would happen. At midday precisely the Secretary of the Committee would descend the stairs and take his place, flanked by two uniformed porters. Under his arm would be a thick, leather-covered book containing the results. One of the porters would carry a list of candidates' numbers and call them out, one after the other. The candidate would step up closely to the Secretary, who would say simply "Pass" or "Failed". Successful men would go upstairs to receive the congratulations and handshakes of the examiners and failures would slink miserably out of the exit to seek the opiate oblivion.

One minute to twelve. The room had suddenly come to a frightening, unexpected silence and stillness, like an unexploded bomb. A clock tingled twelve in the distance. My palms were as wet as sponges. Someone coughed, and I expected the windows to rattle. With slow scraping feet that could be heard before they appeared the Secretary and the porters came solemnly down the stairs. The elder porter raised his voice.

"Number one hundred and sixty-one," he began. "Number three hundred and two. Number three hundred and six." Grimsdyke punched me hard in the ribs, "Go on," he hissed. "It's you!"

I jumped and struggled my way to the front of the restless crowd. My pulse shot in my ears. My face was burning hot and

 

I felt my stomach had been suddenly plucked from my body. Suddenly I found myself on top of the Secretary.

Number three oh six?" the Secretary whispered, without looking up from the book. "R. Gordon?" "Yes," I croaked.

The world stood still. The traffic stopped, the plants ceased growing, men were paralysed, the clouds hung in the air, the winds dropped, the tides disappeared, the sun halted in the sky.

"Pass," he muttered.

Blindly, like a man just hit by a blackjack, I stumbled upstairs.

 

Commentary

 

1 St Bartholomew's, St. Swithin's Hospitals: medical schools in London.

2 invigilator: a person who watches over students during examinations.

3 Old Bailey: Central Criminal Court, situated in London in the street of the same name.

4 the tripos: examination for an honours degree in Cambridge University.

5 firsts, seconds, thirds: a system of grading degrees.

6 the viva: an oral examination.

 

SPEECH PATTERNS

 

1. However, I'm not worried. They never read the papers anyway.

You needn't worry about the meals. She never has anything for breakfast anyway.

I'm sure she is perfect for you. Anyway, I didn't mean to imply she was deficient.

2. "His father will have him go in for medicine,".the housemaster said.

None can have him wear a formal dress for any function".

The examiner will have him give the proper answer.

3. Now that you are well again, you can travel.

Now that you are through with this problem you can do anything.

Now that he's become a graduate student, he can go in for research.

 

 

Phrases and Word Combinations

 

to cheat in exams to adopt an attitude of

to tick smth off towards

to swot up colloq. for to study to get through

to keep an eye open for smth/smb to cut smb short

to mark and grade the papers to rally one's thoughts

to come out (about results) to call out names

to raise one's voice

 

 

ESSENTIAL VOCABULARY

 

1. annoy vt/i 1) to make a little angry, especially by repeated acts; to disturb and nervously upset a person, e. g. Wilfred did not want to pay too much attention to Fleur, he was afraid of annoying her.

Syn. vex, irk, bother

2) persistent interrupting, interrupting with or intruding on until the victim is angry, or upset, e. g. Clouds of flies annoyed our horses.

Syn. worry, harass, plague, pester, tease.

Ant. soothe, comfort

to be annoyed at/over smth, e. g. He was annoyed at the boy's stupidity.

to be annoyed with, e. g. The old woman was annoyed with the noisy children.

annoying a causing one to feel annoyed, as annoying manners, e. g. How annoying...! The annoying thing about it is that I keep thinking about Lizzy.

Syn. bothersome, irritating, troublesome, harassing, tormenting, nagging, vexatious.

 

2. chatter vi 1) to talk quickly or foolishly or without a stop, e. g. The two gids chattered merrily unaware of Roger's presence. 2) to make quick indistinct sounds, e. g. The sparrows were chattering on the roof of the cottage. 3) to strike the lower and upper teeth together from cold or fever, e. g. She was so frightened that her teeth chattered.

chatterbox n a person who chatters.

chatter n sounds of the kinds described by the verb to chatter, e.g. The chatter of the birds could be heard everywhere.

 

 

chattering n e. g. The cheerful chattering of children came from the nursery.

To chatter like a magpie

 

3. cheer vt/i 1) to fill with gladness, hope, high spirits; comfort, e. g. Everyone was cheered by the good news. He cheered up at once when I promised to help him. Cheer up! Your troubles will soon be over. 2) to give shouts of joy, approval, or encouragement, e. g. The speaker was loudly cheered. Everybody cheered the news that peace had come.

to cheer for (cheer on) to support (a competitor) with cheers, to encourage, e. g. Let's go to the football game and cheer for our favourite team. Please come to the sports meeting to cheer on dur team.

cheer n 1) state of hope, gladness; words of cheer, of encouragement; 2) shout of joy or encouragement used by spectators to encourage or show enthusiasm or support for their team, e. g. The cheers of the spectators filled the stadium.

to give three cheers for to cry, or shout "Hurrah!" three times, e. g. The team members gave three cheers for their captain.

cheerful a 1) happy and contented, e.g. He kept throughout his life his youthful optimism and his cheerful trust in men.

Syn, glad, happy, light-hearted, joyful, joyous

Ant. gloomy

2) bright, pleasant, bringing joy, as a cheerful room, sound, conversation; cheerful surroundings, e. g. Mary's cheerful talk encouraged her friends.

Ant. cheerless, gloomy

cheery a is a rather trivial colloquialism for cheerful.

cheerio interj a colloquial word used as farewell, e. g. Cheerio, old friends!

cheers 1) is used as a toast "Your health!, e. g. Does everybody have beer? Yes, cheers. 2) a modern informal use of cheers in British English is to mean good-bye or thank you, e. g. I'll give you a hand tomorrow. Cheers, that'll be great.

 

4. contest vt 1) to argue; debate, dispute, as to contest a statement (a point); to try to show that it is wrong, as to contest smb's right to do smth.; 2) to take part in a struggle or competition (with or against srab or smth.), as to contest a match (a race), e. g. Jimhad to contest against the world's best winners in the

 

 

Games and did well to come third. 3) to fight or compete for, to try to win, as to contest a seat in Parliament, e. g. The soldiers contested every inch of the ground.

Syn. contend

contest n struggle, fight; competition, as a keen contest for the prize; a contest of skill; a musical contest; a close contest, e. g. The ice-hockey championship was a close contest between Canada, Sweden and Russia.

contestant n one who contests

Syn. contender

contestable a open to argument, e. g. That's a contestable statement, you can't prove it.

 

5. emerge vi 1) to come forth into view from an enclosed and obscure place, e. g. The moon emerges from beyond the clouds. 2) to rise into notice and esp. to issue, (come forth) from suffering, subjection, danger, embarrassment, etc., e. g. New artistic developments emerged after the revolution. 3) to come out as the result of investigation, discussion (of a fact, a principle), e. g. At last there emerged Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

Syn. to turn up, to show up

emergency n a sudden happening requiring prompt action; one to be used in an emergency, as an emergency exit (door); an emergency fund; an emergency (forced) landing, e. g. These stairs are to be used only in an emergency. The plane was caught in a snowstorm and had to make an emergency landing.

Syn. juncture, contingency, pinch, crisis

6. go vt with adv and prp

go about 1) to move or travel around, e. g. The quickest way to go about the city is by underground train. 2) to start (smth or doing smth), e. g. I wanted to make a dress but didn't know how to go about it.

go along to proceed, make progress, e. g. You may have some difficulties at first, but you'll find it easier as you go along.

go at (smth or smb) to rush at, attack (informal), e. g. They went at each other furiously.

go back 1) to return, as in conversation (to smth), e. g. Let us go back to what the chairman was saying. 2) to fail to fulfil (a promise, agreement, etc.), e. g. You should never go back on your promise to a child.

 

go behind to examine a deeper level of smth, e. g. You have to go behind the poet's words to see what she really means.

go by (of fault, etc.) 1) to pass without being noticed (informal), e.g. Iknow you were late again this morning, but we'll let it go by. 2) to base one's judgement on smb, e. g. You can't go by what he says, he's very untrustworthy.

go down 1) to be received, esp. with approval, to be liked (by someone), e. g. How did your speech go down (with the public)? 2) to be considered less worthy, e. g. He went down in my opinion.

go down the drain to be wasted; to fail completely, e. g. All my attempts to helphim went down the drain.

go easy (informal) 1) to behave calmly (usu. imper.), e. g. Go easy, dear, there's nothing to get excited about. 2) to treat someone kindly, not severely (on, with), e. g. Go easy on the child, will you, she is too young to understand what she did.

go as/so far as (informal) to be bold or direct enough (to do smth), to declare the truth,

e. g. I wouldn't go so far as to say she is a liar.

go into to examine, e. g. The police went into the man's story to see if he was telling the truth.

go over to examine, to see that it is correct, e.g. The counsellor went over his story in detail and suggested some improvements.

go round to move around, to be publicly noticed (doing smth), e. g. You can't go round saying nasty things like that about him.

 

7. hint n slight or indirect indication or suggestion, e. g. She gave him a hint that she would like him to leave. I know how to take a hint. "Hints for housewives" (as the title of an article giving suggestions that will help housewives)

to drop a hint, e. g. Idropped him hints on the impropriety of his conduct.

to give a person a gentle (broad) hint, e. g. Martin gave Joe a gentle hint but it was lost upon him.

hint vi to suggest, to mention casually, e. g. The woman hinted at her urgent need of money. He hinted at my impudence. He hinted that I ought to work harder.

Syn. suggest, imply, intimate, insinuate

 

8. rattle vt/i 1)(cause to) make short, sharp sounds quickly, one after the other, e. g. The windows were rattling in the strong wind. The hail rattled on the roof.

to rattle off (colloq.) to talk, to say or repeat smth quickly; to repeat (words) quickly and too easily from memory; to perform (an action) with ease and speed, e. g. What is the point of teaching the children to rattle off the names of the kings and queens of England if they know nothing about history?

to rattle away/on to talk rapidly and at some length and uninterestingly, e. g. At every meeting of the women's club, Mrs White rattles on for hours.

2) to annoy, cause to feel angry, e. g. My persistent questioning of his story rattled him, and he refused to answer my queries. She was rattled by the hypothetical eyes spying upon her.

Syn. embarrass, discomfit, abash, faze

rattled a annoyed, e. g. In the end he got rattled, (or: We got him rattled.).

 

9. reduce vt/i 1) to take (smth) smaller or less; being smth (such as a price, size, or amount) down to a lower level or smaller size, e. g. Your speed must be reduced to the city speed limit as soon as you cross the border. Taxes should be reduced to an amount that people can afford to pay. The book will have to be reduced to 300 pages. The whole town was reduced to ashes in the bombing. 2) to bring or get to a certain condition, e. g. The new teacher was quickly able to reduce the noisy class to silence. Hunger had reduced the poor dog to skin and bone. His opponent's clever speech reduced the speaker's argument to nonsense.

to reduce by/to, e. g. We have been able to.reduce our tax bill by 10%. The price of the chair has been reduced to $ 10.

to reduce someone to tears to make someone weep, e. g. You may choose to scold this child, but there's no need to reduce him to tears.

Syn. decrease, lessen, diminish, abate, dwindle

reduction n reducing or being reduced, e. g. The goods are sold at a great reduction in price.

Syn. discount

 

 





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